10 Tips for New Anime Fans

Are you a new anime fan? Did you just get into watching these foreign cartoons? In that case, let me be the first to congratulate you for finding the best source of anime news. I’ve accompanied all these tips with short, non looping gifs. This can only help your reading experience, and definitely not serve as an annoying distraction from talentless writing.

10. Don’t listen to the haters

What the hell is he pressing the F9 key for?

Anyone who hates your favorite series, or god forbid hates anime, is a troll. You can just ignore these people, as they’re obviously just try to get under your skin. In fact anyone who doesn’t share your exact viewpoint can really just be ignored.

9. If it looks like anime, then it must be anime

The movie was better.

Just what is and isn’t anime? As a rule of thumb if it looks like an anime than it must be an anime. Shows like Code Lyoko, Megas xlr, or avatar are definately anime. Just look at them!

8. Always watch the anime before reading the manga

Good grief.

If you read the manga before watching the anime then you’re basically spoiling the anime for yourself. Throw away the notion that some adaptations are made for fans of the source material. Manga lacks sound and movement, which is imperative to understanding any story. And pretty much every manga gets made into an anime anyways, so what’s the point in reading it?

7. The only shows worth watching are Slice of Life

I can’t really think of a caption for this, but I don’t want this picture to be the odd one out.

As the name would imply Slice of Life, or SoL, is a genre about day to day life. This genre of anime isn’t hampered by intense action scenes or deep philosophical questions. Why watch Ghost in the Shell when you could watch K-on?

6. Drawing anime only strengthens your anime pride

Shitty-anime-base

I made it myself.

Making your own fanart is an essential part of enjoying anime. But being a good drawer is hard work. To make things easier for you print out and trace images from your favorite anime. Don’t have a printer? Look on Deviant art for “base” artwork. With a base all you’ll need is to draw the hair and clothes, which is honestly the most important part of any anime character design.

5. Don’t watch Hentai

I was really tentative to put this gif in, considering how offensive it could be to our readers. I hope this is censored enough to be as inoffensive as possible.

Hentai is morally wrong, and a gross perversion of an otherwise pure medium. Anyone who watches hentai is sick, and you should not be associating with them if you want to become a fully fledged otaku.

4. Old anime is always bad

Char Drinking

God forbid you ever watch anything from the 70s. That decade is a wasteland for quality shows.

 

You really don’t want to watch any anime made before 2000. Digital animation always looks better than cell animation. Watching old anime is like going back to watch old Scooby Doo episodes. It just doesn’t have the storytelling nuances that we’ve become so accustomed to because back then people didn’t know any better. Shows like Zeta Gundam just come off as childish in comparison to newer series like Squid Girl.

3. Once you start watching anime, you can’t go back to live action

God damn is this gif short. Like really for what purpose does this gif exist? Who would make a gif this short? It like two and a half frames.

Even if it’s related to an anime or manga, watching a live action movie or show is a betrayal. Real otaku only have time for anime, not any of this 3D nonsense.

2. You don’t need to finish watching any anime series

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I really didn’t have a related image for this one. I don’t even know where this gif is from. I think it’s from something called Unicron? If you know where this gif is from then please email me at marida-cruz-fan@laplacebox.org.

Who cares if there’s an engaging ongoing plot? To be a true otaku you’ll only need to watch the first few episodes of any given anime series. This way you can opine on any anime series, without taking the enormous amount of time it would take to watch a full 13 episode series.

1. Don’t watch anime

Don’t cry for me, I’m already kawaii.

The best step you can take in enjoying anime is to not watch it. The more anime you watch, the more embittered you’ll become. Really if there’s anything you should take away from these tips, is not to get into anime in the first place. Once you start down that dark path you’ll find yourself alone and unloved like all Otaku. The medium is just a vehicle for unhealthy escapism that distracts you from your aimless life. It doesn’t help you, it only bolsters the mucus layer you’ve already formed around yourself. Of course you won’t know it until it’s too late, and you’ve wasted your time and money on something that gives you no satisfaction. Anime will leave you a husk of your former self, a cold and destitute orphan treading water in an ocean of jap shit. Do not look into the moé, for it will start to look back at you.

About the author

Talking about himself in the third person has never be Morlock's strengths, however it would seem that duty calls for a change in POV. Hobbies include: self loathing, mindlessly consuming japanese media like the weeaboo that he is, and complaining. Mad Bull 34 is still the greatest anime Morlock has seen. For some reason he has a Twitter: @TheMorlock