Anime Maru is a regularly-updating online publication that is dedicated to bringing you up-to-date news and commentary about the anime industry.
Ok, for liability reasons, I have to come clean. Anime Maru is a a satirical publication. Nothing on this site should be interpreted as factual nor as a claim to fact. Content is not reflective of opinions held by the staff of Anime Maru. Content is not intended for readers under the age of 18. In conclusion, Anime Maru is fake anime news. If any of this is a surprise to you, I recommend speaking to your mother. She has something to tell you about the tooth fairy.
All material used is under the guidance of Fair Use (17 U.S.C 107). All media depicted on this website are the properties of their respective owners. Except in cases when public figures are being satirized, all names used are fictitious; any other usage of real names is coincidental. Use the contact page to contact us for any reason.
Submissions are welcome, but not guaranteed to be accepted. Send an email to inquire.
Editor-in-Chief, CEO, and Fearless Leader of Anime Maru. He was trained by the North Korean People’s Institute of Journalism and Media. Like any true anime fan, kevo follows voice actresses on Twitter and pretends to understand their Japanese tweets. Twitter: @kevo31415
The first thing Actene did upon being given a computer of his own was start watching the dirty Japanese cartoons he had heard so much about, far from the prying eyes of his family so as not to be written out of the will. After joining the military in the hopes of becoming an anime protagonist, he was horrified to learn that the army was just like the internet in that everyone’s taste in anime was shit. The only thing he likes more than watching anime is complaining about anime.
Bob_Squob is neither a Bob nor a Squob, but they’re both common enough names to form an alias. After roaming the earth for 10,000 years with no purpose, he came upon Anime Maru, and thought to himself, “It is good. I will make my home here.” He currently resides in the darkness for fear that his taste in anime will be discovered and exploited as a weakness. Twitter: @Bob_Squob
cultureshock was once a promising young lad, but with his discovery of anime, he was transformed into a degenerate pervert with no hope for the future. As a three-time gold medalist in the International Hikikomori Olympics, he only leaves his six-tatami apartment once a week to buy beer and ramen at the corner store. Disqualified from being human, his only remaining goal in life is to sacrifice himself beneath the wheels of the moe juggernaut that shall dominate all of mankind, thus ensuring that he will spend the rest of eternity in the world of 2D at the feet of his waifu.
Having been sentenced on 3 separate occasions to commit honorable sudoku after various incidents involving lava lamps and body pillows, Steve sought sanctum against the legions of radical Haruhiists he’d enraged. He fled to a lesser-known corner of our solar system where he happened to find some free wifi and an artisan bakery that appealed to his hipster tastes.
Part time hikikomori and masochistic cave dweller. She likes the three minutes you have to wait after you pour water in a ramen cup and hates cute anime mascot creatures. What she has is not a dream, because it is already a reality: people die when they are killed. Twitter: @Dango_Ramen
Ｈｉ Ｉ ａｍ ｄｏｒｍａａｎｏｎ． Ｈｉ ａｍ ｆｒｏｍ Ｊａｐａｎ． Ｙｏｕｒ ｓｉｔｅ ｉｓ ｃｕｔｅ． Ｍａｎｙ ｍａｎｙ ｃｕｔｅ ｐｈｏｔｏ． Ｉ ａｍ ｉｎ ｙｏｕｒ ｓｉｔｅ ｆｏｒ ｍａｎｙ ｍａｎｙ ｔｉｍｅ， ｂｕｔ Ｉ ｎｏ ｕｎｄｅｒｓｔａｎｄｏ ａｌｌ． Ｗｈａｔ ｙｏｕ ｔａｌｋ？ Ｗｈａｔ ｉｓ ｙｏｕｒ ｆａｖｏｒｉｔｅ ｄｉｓｃｕｓｓｉｏｎ ｙｏｕ ｓａｙ ｐｌｅａｓｅ？ Ｓｏｒｒｙ ｆｏｒ ｍｙ ｑｕｅｓｔｉｏｎ． Ｂｙｅ ｂｙｅ Ａｍｅｒｉｃａ．
The Queen of the Monster Girls from a distant planet, Fluffy Harpy first came to Earth with the intention of conquering it. She is however quite lazy, and has since given up on that goal and now fills her days with anime, video games, and occasionally writing for this very site. Someday she will show you all.
Talking about himself in the third person has never be Morlock’s strengths, however it would seem that duty calls for a change in POV. Hobbies include: self loathing, mindlessly consuming japanese media like the weeaboo that he is, and complaining. Mad Bull 34 is still the greatest anime Morlock has seen. For some reason he has a Twitter: @TheMorlock
A failure of a human being suffering from chronic procrastination and an addiction to dank memes. He counteracts his lack of desire to live by committing visual adultery with anime girls and reassuring himself that he has better taste than everyone else. His habits include dabbing in public and making fun of people who buy Apple products.
Tasteful elitist and local negotiator, Roger spent his early days being raised by a pack of wolves. He traveled far and distant lands to find Rakuen. While he was searching, he stumbled upon Anime Maru. Using his negotiation skills, he managed to get a gig there. One day he hopes to find a place where both casuals and elitists can all get better taste in anime. He also has a Twitter account to spread the good word of Takashi Kamiyama: @MPCaraturo
At the tender age of 14, rotolotto left home to embark on a journey to save the world. Unfortunately, he got caught up in sidequesting and now, over a decade later, he makes mashups and writes for Anime Maru. Powers include making a kick-ass burger, walking upright on two legs, and purchasing ecchi/lewd manga and figures without shame. For a good time, tweet: @heyitsroto
Sages speak of a man who will rise when the nation needs him most. Destined for greatness that man will herald a new age of enlightenment and reasoning for humanity. The tales told of this savior say he is already among us. They also say he has three fingers on one hand. Slapdash Scott is not this man, at least not yet. For now Slapdash Scott fills the empty hours of his life dreaming of the 72 waifus awaiting him in Valhalla.
ttchoubs: (pronounced choobs u plebz) Single-handedly responsible for the death of anime, ttchoubs enjoys spending 10% of his time watching Japanese animation and the other 90% denying others’ accusations that he does. He has been banned for 3 countries for his taste in best girls. He also enjoys having lukewarm tea parties with his stuffed animal friends and therapist on the weekends.
Sustaining on instant noodles and a wavering DSL connection, it is uncertain how Vestro has continued to survive let alone still form a cognitive thought. Regardless, he still manages to come out of his soba induced coma now and then. He can be found spending his time pretending to understand Japanese media as well as picking up the remaining shards of his broken dreams.
Vextrr has circumnavigated the globe on several occasions, and has trekked across the most barren of deserts, scaled the most daunting of mountains, sailed the most unforgiving of seas, traversed the darkest of depths of the internet, and has confirmed that his waifu, in fact, does not exist. Likely destined to still remain in denial for the rest of his life, he now spends his days watching anime and writing for Anime Maru.