Anime Dead at 52

ripanime2
1963 – 2015

Today we here at Anime Maru received a harrowing news tip. Readers are advised to brace themselves, for this might be the most shocking report Anime Maru has ever delivered. According to anime insider xxNarutardh8rxx, anime is officially dead.

When questioned about the source of his claims, xxNarutardh8rxx responded, “Well, you know. It’s totally dead, nothing can save it. It’s all shitty light novel adaptations and fanservice and moeblobs and shit. Nobody is making quality anime that suits my tastes.”

When pressed for further comment, xxNarutardh8rxx did not reply. Experts are not sure what he means by “quality anime”, but evidently the industry has collapsed due to a failure to cater to the whims and personal tastes of this one individual. “An unprecedented economic phenomenon if ever there was one,” notes economist Okazaki Shigeiru of the University of Tokyo.

While countless fans been broken into tears over this tragic news, one MAL user remains hopeful for the future. “No totally dudes, Ninja Slayer is going to save anime! I can feel it!” he proclaims. Only time will tell what the future brings.

Anime Maru will continue to report on all anime-related news going forward with the knowledge that no matter what we say, Anime is now and forever dead.

About the author

"Having been banned from every forum board in existence, Zeke Freek has taken his godtier levels of anime expertise and mad beat-boxing skills and brought them to the next level; internet journalism. Zeke is currently wondering how many job interview calls he won't be getting back after putting this site on his resume. Join him as he unravels the mysteries of the universe, like Bigfoot, the female orgasm, the secret cow level, and people who still use MySpace. Twitter: @ZekeFreek