Anime Graduate Students Get Physics PhD as Consolation for Failing Exam

Yuri Diploma

Anime graduate programs announced a new decision to award physics PhD degrees to those who fail the anime qualifying exam.

The decision came after many years of low passing rates and complaints that anime PhDs have been too exclusive and mentally strenuous. MIT’s Dean of Admissions also reasoned that many of the questions on the anime qualifying exam “require the same, if not more amount of critical and analytical thinking that the physics exams do.”

Past graduate exams included questions on harem attractive field lines, the capacitance of a tsundere’s ability to withhold love confessions, and the leading shifts in the energies of the degenerate first excited states of main character power ups. Most students who failed the exam claimed that it was the section on modern anime that tricked them up.

“In the written exam, I had to manipulate the twin paradox setup such that the twin who traveled to a distant star and the twin on earth met at some intermediate point on the same day as the repulsive force of dubbed anime exceeded the attractive force of subbed anime,” said Shuning Li, who failed the exam and was forced to find a job in research.

Most students also assert that the anime qualifying exam has a notoriously difficult oral exam in which a committee of three faculty members interview the student about their research. The student is then asked to solve a difficult problem in the student’s general field of study. The problem slated for 2016 was purported to be about evaluating key frame density and quantization of Kill la Kill fight scenes.  

With the consolation physics degree, many universities expect anime scholars to be satisfied with the apparent offset of the difficulty of the actual exam. However, scholars expressed indignance and found that this action condescending toward their level of knowledge. Anime students have also claimed that this move was an attempt to force them into unfulfilling life careers and stifle their pursuit of happiness.

“It’s all about doing what you love these days. I want to make a difference in the world and neutrinos don’t do anything,” said Richard Dembinski, a Johns Hopkins Undergraduate studying the biomedical engineering of nekomimis. “What can I do with something as impractical as a physics degree? There’s a reason why I’m studying anime engineering.

Higher up officials have announced no intention to get rid of the consolation physics degree. In fact, many graduate schools have begun to change there anime programs to tailor the physics degree, expecting most anime students to fail out of their intended program. There is no known report of the anime qualifying exam being made easier for future graduate students.

About the author

Part time hibernator and professional computer starer. She likes the three minutes you have to wait after you pour water in a ramen cup and hates cute anime mascot creatures. Twitter: @Dango_Ramen