Anime Maru’s Guide to Halloween

memeitup

Well it’s another rare day where NEETs will be forced to socialized with society. But never fear, our staff at Anime Maru has prepared a simple guide to give you the most terrifying and least socially awkward Halloween night! With these simple tips you won’t have to worry about ghouls, goblins, or neighbors judging you.

Costumes

Let’s start off with the basics, on Halloween you’re expected to dress up. But we have to make one thing clear, you are wearing a costume. You are definitely not wearing cosplay. It doesn’t matter if you’re going a Sailor Moon, it’s a Halloween costume, not a cosplay. Secondly dressing up as Death Note’s L or Shinji Ikari in school uniform is neither a costume or a cosplay, it is a white shirt with pants. Also everyone has already done the Box Gundam too, it’s not funny anymore. Lastly if someone doesn’t recognize the expensive Tokyo Ghoul costume you bought online, do not throw candy in their face. It didn’t work out so well for me last time.

Trick or Treating

This is the good part, where you get all the candy, best part of the night, right? Well no, not anymore. You’re too old to be trick or treating. So instead you’ll be handing out the candy, but this too requires proper etiquette. Make sure you get a good variety of tasty AMERICAN candy to hand out. Kids don’t know what Pocky is, they don’t want to know what Pocky is, so don’t hand out Pocky. And when a 10 year old Elsa knocks on your door under no circumstances do you ever refer to them as a loli. Especially if their mother is with them, I had to learn this the hard way. It is more acceptable to refer to someone actually in a Gothic Lolita costume as a loli, but they will most likely be in their twenties.

Halloween Party

Did you get invited to a Halloween party? I didn’t think so. The only option left is to throw your own Halloween party. Decorate your house, apartment, or mother’s basement with all sorts of creepy objects. Skulls, spiders, or Junji Ito books will do fine. But now for the main event, the horror movie marathon! With your expert knowledge of Japanese media there’s plenty of spooking things to watch. Let me break it to you now, you don’t have enough time to marathon through Shiki, and just because it has a tentacle monster does not make it a horror movie. So what can you watch that will please everyone? Never fear because there is a Japanese dub of the classic horror movie American Psycho just waiting for you and your friend(s)! They’ll get one of the best horror movies ever made, and you’ll get to listen to it in the superior language. Halloween is saved once again!

About the author

Talking about himself in the third person has never be Morlock's strengths, however it would seem that duty calls for a change in POV. Hobbies include: self loathing, mindlessly consuming japanese media like the weeaboo that he is, and complaining. Mad Bull 34 is still the greatest anime Morlock has seen. For some reason he has a Twitter: @TheMorlock