Anime News Outlet Runs Out of Ideas

Hello readers, we are currently posting the top results from our first ever writing contest. We will be posting the top placing entries leading up to the grand prize winner’s post. Today’s entry is by VEXTRR11.

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Anime Maru, the world leader in satirical anime news coverage, seems to have shockingly run out of anime and news stories to parody, now reaching out to its readers for more ideas. This came as a disturbing revelation to the world when avid readers realized the recent announcement of the Anime Maru writing contest post was not, in fact, a joke.

The proposed contest invites readers to submit their own anime news parody articles, with prizes promised to the authors of the best entries. While appearing like a good-natured challenge of humorous creation at first, many interpret this move to be an obvious sign that Anime Maru authors have finally reached a collective point of writer’s block, desperate enough to rely on their audience for inspiration under the strategic guise of a contest, after years of painstaking effort to create secretly fake news articles that hardly anyone ever read.

“It’s a shame, really,” blogged one of the three regular commenters on Anime Maru posts. “I used to love all the articles [Anime Maru] published, but it’s as if they didn’t think any of us would notice they were running out of things to write about. I mean, how many articles can they write about Keijo!!!!!!!! or Donald Trump?”

Despite Anime Maru’s substantial backing by their Patreon account of over 10 patrons and a whole $24 per month, one can only surmise that those at Anime Maru have already exhausted all their resources, funds, and brainpower, now with a clearly bleak future. While no official statement has been made by Anime Maru regarding these speculations, many have already given up hope of the contest actually not being an indication of Anime Maru’s certain demise, and have stopped checking the website daily.

Countless otaku around the globe are still in denial of this painful, yet inevitable truth, and others have already come to accept their fate of likely never being able to read about WataDeru or another Ahogamer review ever again. This event has struck people with varying degrees of devastation, but there is a general consensus that Anime Maru’s brand of witty, hilarious, and underappreciated content will be sorely missed.

While the world waits to see which poorly-thought-out article will ultimately win the grand prize, many readers continue to appreciate the true entertainment value of Anime Maru: the idiots that take all the articles seriously.

About the author

Vextrr has circumnavigated the globe on several occasions, and has trekked across the most barren of deserts, scaled the most daunting of mountains, sailed the most unforgiving of seas, traversed the darkest of depths of the internet, and has confirmed that his waifu, in fact, does not exist. Likely destined to still remain in denial for the rest of his life, he now spends his days watching anime and writing for Anime Maru.