Category Archives: Guest Post

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Man Scammed Out of Thousands of Dollars in Fraudulent Anime Scheme

MILWAUKEE, WI — A 34-year-old local resident was shocked to discover this week that the anime DVD collection he has been amassing over the past several years was largely fake.
James Teager told Anime Maru that he has been buying DVD’s and Blu-Ray disks for over decade, building up a collection of over 500 series. The accumulation of his life’s work, however, has not paid off. According to Teager, at least half do not contain discs at all — he has found blank discs, change, and pieces of cardboard, inside the packaging where anime movies and TV shows should be.

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Researchers Remain Optimistic as Search For Alternate Universes Intensifies

BATAVIA, IL –The United States Department of Energy released a statement this afternoon claiming that researchers are still hopeful about locating an “isekai” — also known as an alternate world — even as the search enters its sixth year without results. Speaking to reporters at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory, Dr. Albert Porchowsky insisted that the latest models of quantum mechanics predicts the existence of alternate worlds like those depicted in Re: Zero and Konosubarashii Sekai ni Shukufuku wo!.

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Local Student Still Waiting for Classmate to Show Her Dere Side

KEARNEY, MO — The average high school boy would be heartbroken if his crush acted like she hated him. But for 16-year-old Joshua Ferris, local student and self-professed otaku, this is actually a sign of encouragement; he believes that his crush, classmate Kelly Liebowitz, is a tsundere. A prevalent archetype in some of his favorite anime, tsundere characters can be found in schools, workplaces, and dungeons around the world.

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Issue of National Best Girl Up Takes Spotlight Weeks After Election

As the lingering recounts for a handful of races scattered around the country wind down, the long and drawn-out election season has finally come to a close. The big questions have been answered — Republicans have maintained majority control over Congress and Donald Trump will be the next President — but one last unanswered question has moved to the forefront of the national debate: who will be our nation’s Best Girl?

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Newly-Formed Senshado League Disbanded after First Match Results in Heavy Casualties

OARAI, Japan – Public outcry and mourning are flood the conscience of this quaint seaside town after what was intended to be a friendly and benign game abruptly erupted into a massacre.

Senshado – literally “the way of the tank” – is a newly developed sport in which female crews engage in tank warfare against other teams of similar fashion. The sport itself is a direct inspiration from the anime series Girls und Panzer, which depicts a group of high-school girls forming a senshado team to prevent their school from closing down.

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Anime News Outlet Runs Out of Ideas

Anime Maru, the world leader in satirical anime news coverage, seems to have shockingly run out of anime and news stories to parody, now reaching out to its readers for more ideas. This came as a disturbing revelation to the world when avid readers realized the recent announcement of the Anime Maru writing contest post was not, in fact, a joke.

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Shinbou Akiyuki Reveals He Has Actually Been Blind All Along

TOKYO, Japan — High profile director Shinbou Akiyuki of Studio Shaft made a shocking announcement last weekend, revealing that he has been blind for the past ten years. The revelation baffled fans but also surprised most of Shinbou’s co-workers. Shinbou has directed many hit series known for their unique visual style, such as Monogatari series, Puella Magi Madoka Magika and Blood Royale, which makes the revelation all the more surprising.

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Xebec Announces ‘Chinpo!o!!!!!!!!’ Anime Adaptation

Anime studio Xebec announced earlier today that it has started production on the anime adaptation of the manga Chinpo!o, created by Daichi Sorayomi. Localized as Dick Whip Guy, the manga tells the story of a man who aspires to be the best in chinpo!o, a gambling sport where male contestants stand on a floating platform and try to push each other off the platform. The twist, however, is that the contestants are only allowed to use their backside and phallic member.

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Former NEET Disappointed by ‘Working!!’ Environment

NORMAN, OK — Local NEET-turned-productive-member of society Chad Wilson, 35, is disappointed by the real world. After watching all three seasons of Working!! and catching up to the currently airing WWW.Working!!, he decided to change his lifestyle by leaving his basement and starting to work at his local Denny’s. While he was initially positive about doing something with his live and making some money for once, his new job has given him a number of problems.

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Ayn Rand Anime Reviews

Today’s guest article is courtesy of a Certain Objectivist Ayndex.   Mushishi – A grifter travels from town to town preying upon the mystic irrationality of oriental peasants. This would…