Everyday Life With Monster Girls Much More Complicated Than Expected

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While the recent anime Monster Musume: Everyday Life With Monster Girls has made inter-species relationships an endless parade of fun and games, things are much more complicated for those in such relationships. For a closer look at this growing phenomena, Anime Maru sat down with several men in Tokyo who are currently in long-term relationships with monster girls.

Anime Maru: Thank you for taking time from your busy day to sit down and speak with us. To begin, why don’t you tell our readers a little about yourselves and your experience with the growing trend of humans dating outside their own species.

Akira Kotobuki.: Well, not too long ago I began dating a Lamia, that being the name we humans use for snake-people, named Karin, who I met at a bar a few months ago. She’s a nice girl, but just a little too affectionate in public sometimes. Otherwise though? Things are pretty good, at least when it comes to our relationship  itself.The sex though…that’s another thing entirely.

Yuki Miyamoto.: I’ve been dating a slime girl for nearly three months now. She’s a sweet girl…quite literally sometimes, if she eats too much fruit, or fruit-flavored drinks.

Masaru Fukui: My girlfriend is a silkworm-type, she’s nice, but I really wish she’d stop spitting up silk all over me while she sleeps.

Koki Hirano: My girlfriend is a dragon, like a literal one, not a monster girl.

Anime Maru: Could you tell us a little bit about your sex life, if you don’t mind?

Akira: Not at all, Karin and I are pretty open about this sort of thing. You see, when Lamia mate they coil each others tails and writhe all over the place until all is said and done. But when a human is in the mix…things start to get hairy, or scaly, as it were. The first time we did it, she wrapped her tail around me so tightly that she broke three of my ribs, one of my legs, and my left shoulder, I was in the hospital for a week! On top of all of that, it took me nearly three weeks, reading a library’s worth of books, and a few lessons from Karin herself to learn where her genitalia were even located.

Yuki: I pretty much just stick it in wherever she wants it, which is pretty much anywhere but her head. I’ve been told that Slimes can reproduce from the slightest amount of genetic material entering their body, so I always use a condom when we have sex…. not that I mind the idea of having a cute kid worth exactly one EXP, but I’m not ready yet.

Masaru: She’s really into bondage and tends to wrap me in silk restraints at least once a week. Its fun, but it really get boring after awhile. As for regular sex? I have no idea how it works with a bug-person like her, maybe when she grow up into a moth we’ll find something else to do for fun.

Koki: She’s 50 feet tall. I just sort of pet her head and that’s it. (Sighs)

Anime Maru: So, Mr. Akira, where is snake genitalia anyway?

Akira: Well it isn’t where you’d expect them to be. I thought from all of those dirty manga and anime it’d be just like being with a human girl but more scaly. But all she had down there was scales, and when I asked, Karin politely taught me that female Lamia don’t have a vagina, instead they have a cloaca, which is a sort of dual use organ near the middle of their tail that acts that both an anus and vagina.

Anime Maru: Moving on then… what are your girlfriends like outside the bedroom?

Akira: If I had to use one word to describe Karin it’d be energetic. She always gung-ho to get up and hit the town every weekend and does so with more zeal then you’d expect from a girl that weighs almost 400lbs. (Don’t ever mention her weight by the way, she doesn’t like that.) Besides that, she’s like pretty much every other girl I’ve ever met. She likes to do thing like shop, cuddle, and eat a whole tub’s worth of ice cream when she’s sad. The cuddling is nice, but we have to have a safe word in place so she doesn’t break a part of me, or suffocate me to death.

Yuki: My girl is mostly quiet. She can’t really talk, since she lacks actual vocal cords, so I’ve taught her sign language over the last few months. Since then, I’ve learned she’s really into reading classical eastern European literature, but her wet body always ruins the books when she tries to read them, which makes her very sad. To solve the problem I got her an E-Reader and she’s never been happier.

Masaru: Aside from the bondage? She really likes making art from her silk. She has this little site on Etsy where she sells dolls, clothing, bedding, and every other possible thing you could think of out of silk. The stuff is all super top quality and, if I can put a little plug in here, you should all check it out if you’re into really soft stuff.

Koki: She likes flying around, stealing treasure, and setting people on fire. I don’t approve, but I doubt she cares.

Anime Maru: Are any of your other friends in relationships with monster girls?

Akira: A few, the whole thing is pretty taboo around here even with the recent upswing of media depicting mixed-species couples. I do know one guy who is dating this adorable little harpy that can’t be more then five feet tall. I hear things are going great, but every time I see him his whole body is cover in scratches and gashes, and I’ve got to wonder what those two do at night to cause such a thing.

"I honestly don't know what the fuss is all about" - kevo

“I honestly don’t know what the fuss is all about” – kevo

Anime Maru: What do you all think of anime and manga like Monster Musume?

Akira: I think they’ve been good for the community overall, because they serve to show positive depiction of inter-species relationships. But at the same it creates false expectations as well. We’ve got waves of fat, ugly, foul smelling type hitting on monster girls in the grossest ways possible and expect it to be okay! I mean just the other day I saw a grown man in a PreCure t-shirt slap a centaur on the ass as if it were completely normal! Of course she then kicked him twenty feet into the air, but the point stands. I’m not saying its the fault of the author of MonMusu that this sort of stuff happens so often, but it certainly isn’t helping either.

Yuki: My girl really dislikes Suu, she is simply not a good representation of the slime race. She even went so far as to protest the show in Akihabara last summer while the TV anime was airing. She really believes strongly in breaking stereotypes.

Masaru: We both thought it was hilarious, but they really could have used a few more insect girls in the mix.

Koki: I wasn’t able to watch it, me and the girl were taking a holiday in Europe looking for a castle to store her massive treasure trove.

Anime Maru: So before we go, what are you and your girlfriend’s plans for the future?

Akira: She wants to have kids and get married someday. I know that for sure. But first I’m going to have to figure out if A. if either of those things are even possible and B. If Lamia lay eggs or not. Once I figure those things out, we’ll see what happens next.

Yuki: For now, we’re both working on learning to understand each other more. Once that’s done, I think I’d like to get married.

Masaru: We’re waiting till she becomes a moth before taking anything further, but I’d like to get married and have a nice honeymoon to.

Koki: I’m really looking forward holding a small nation in thrall in the future with her.

 

About the author

The Queen of the Monster Girls from a distant planet, Fluffy Harpy first came to Earth with the intention of conquering it. She is however quite lazy, and has since given up on that goal and now fills her days with anime, video games, and occasionally writing for this very site. Someday she will show you all. twitter: @fluffyharpy