FedEx to Deploy AE86 Fleet to Meet Holiday Shipping Demand

fedex_ae86

The second largest shipping company in the United States announced recently that it would be acquiring additional vehicles to supplement its fleet during the holidays. The particular vehicle chosen would be none other than the Toyota AE86. The decision, spurred by high shipping demand, would allow the company to more reliably make on-time deliveries, FedEx claimed.

While the sport compact might seem like an odd choice for delivering packages, FedEx argued that it is the only vehicle that makes sense for being able to make sure packages arrive safely as well as quickly.

“Our traditional delivery trucks understeer far too much to make it possible for fast deliveries to occur on curvy roads,” a representative of FedEx’s national logistics division stated. “In addition, the heavy weight of the trucks really wears out the brakes when on the downhill. When it comes to being able to perform a high speed kansei drift in order to get your package delivered next day, the Toyota AE86 is really the only car that makes logical sense.”

The company will remain committed to speedy delivery as well as careful handling, FedEx claimed. In a press event, FedEx demonstrated one of their AE86 delivery cars making several consecutive hairpin turns without spilling a cup of water, used to represent how a fragile package could still be delivered safely even on difficult to navigate roads.

FedEx states that both Levin and Trueno variants of the AE86 will be used within its delivery fleets. However, the Trueno with its pop-up headlights will be preferred in overnight deliveries to allow drivers to collapse the headlights and execute “blind attacks” when overtaking competing vehicles.

In response to the announcement, competing giant UPS announced it would be acquiring a fleet of Mazda RX-7’s for the holiday season. Amazon’s own delivery service also declared it’s intent to compete with it’s own AE86 fleet, but mistakenly purchased a fleet of AE85’s instead.

About the author

Sustaining on instant noodles and a wavering DSL connection, it is uncertain how Vestro has continued to survive let alone still form a cognitive thought. Regardless, he still manages to come out of his soba induced coma now and then. He can be found spending his time pretending to understand Japanese media as well as picking up the remaining shards of his broken dreams.