Genius Psychic Predicts New Shinkai Movie Will be Romance

psychicAUXERRE, France — 34-year-old mystic Lauri Moustain, whom many claim is a genius psychic, has predicted that Makoto Shinkai’s new movie will be a romance. Moustain based her reasoning on the alignment of various astrological signs as well as numerological calculations.

The claim has astounded and shocked the anime community, many of whom could not believe such a crazy idea. A excerpt of Moustain’s analysis follows:

Makoto Shinkai was born on February 9, 1973. His Sun Sign is Aquarius while his Moon sign is Taurus, which is in his rising sign. His primary star is Capella, which can be seen in the night sky of the 53,280th frame of Five Centimeters per Second. The numbers in 53280 add up to 18, which is associated with love, compassion, and people who make the same movie over and over again.

“It’s absolutely crazy, you know? She can’t be right, but by God, she just might be,” Steven Crenshaw, 25, told Anime Maru. “If this turns out to be accurate, I think it’s proof once and for all that psychics are legit.”

As of press time, Moustain went on to predict that another season of Teekyu will probably be happening.

About the author

ttchoubs: (pronounced choobs u plebz) Single-handedly responsible for the death of anime, ttchoubs enjoys spending 10% of his time watching Japanese animation and the other 90% denying others' accusations that he does. He has been banned for 3 countries for his taste in best girls. He also enjoys having lukewarm tea parties with his stuffed animal friends and therapist on the weekends.