‘Girls Only Like Me for My Taste in Anime,’ Hapless Bachelor Claims

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SOUTH BEND, IN — At first glance, Johnny Choi appears to be a casual anime fan. But he has concern with his romantic life that is unique to those whose significant others exist in more than two dimensions.

Male weeaboos otaku often have trouble wooing the fairer sex, but as of late the increased popularity of “manservice” anime has changed how the otaku culture is choosing to date. We’ve heard that more and more losers male anime fans are getting dates, but only because they’ve watched a popular show and the girls want to act out fantasies they have had of the show. Alternatively, men who look similar to a girl’s favorite character have also been getting more attention.

Enter Johnny Choi, who has allowed us to shadow him on a date with his girlfriend to observe this phenomenon. We met up with Choi at a local coffee shop.

Anime Maru: How did you two meet?

Choi: I was working out at a Lifetime Fitness when she noticed that I was catching up with Haikyuu on my tablet.

Girlfriend: When I saw Oikawa-senpai on his screen I just knew I had to get to know this guy so we could talk about Haikyuu!! together! One thing led to another, and then we started dating! (≥∀≤)/

Anime Maru: I see, so do you two watch anime together often?

Girlfriend: Of course! We’ve probably rewatched Haikyuu!! at least 3 times, SEASON 3 WHEN, AM I RIGHT???

Choi: It already got announced…

Girlfriend: And I told him he just HAD to watch Free! if he liked Haikyuu!!, and after this we’re going to go see the Love Live! movie!

Anime Maru: Do you only watch things with exclamation points in the title?

Girlfriend: Oh! (to Choi) Babe, we gotta go, we’ll be late to being in line 2 hours early!

Choi: Oh, you’re right…

We decided to catch up with Choi after his date for a one-on-one interview.

Choi: I swear, I only told her I like Love Live because I thought it would get me laid…

Anime Maru: And did it work?

Choi: Well… not exactly. She set a rule where I have to be dressed in a volleyball or basketball jersey whenever we do that kind of stuff. Why couldn’t I have been allowed to just enjoy Haikyuu like any other person?

Anime Maru: Has she ever even seriously complimented you?

Choi: The only thing she ever compliments me on is my taste in anime. I’d rather go back to the days when everyone online told me my taste in anime was shit and I somehow felt less empty than I do now. Every time I think about that, though, I think ‘when am I ever going to get another girlfriend’? I just don’t know what to do.

We told Choi to worry about whatever BL fanfictions he finds in his girlfriend’s browser history before leaving him to contemplate his life. As to whether or not this issue in the otaku dating scene will go anywhere, we can only guess that it’ll change as the general anime meta does the same.

About the author

Having been sentenced on 3 separate occasions to commit honorable sudoku after various incidents involving lava lamps and body pillows, Steve sought sanctum against the legions of radical Haruhiists he'd enraged. He fled to a lesser-known corner of our solar system where he happened to find some free wifi and an artisan bakery that appealed to his hipster tastes.