HOUSTON, TX — Faculty at Westbury High School revealed during a parent-teacher conference this week that substantial revisions will be made to its detention policy.
Beginning next week, students eligible for detention will no longer serve their time during designated “quiet sessions”. Rather, they will be required to attend the school’s anime club for a predetermined number of meetings. Principal Edward Dean, the main proponent of the change, discovered the idea while dropping in on the school’s anime club one afternoon.
“I’ve always felt that ordinary detention was ineffective, so I’ve been pushing for alternatives,” stated Dean. “Words can’t truly describe the uncomfortable display I witnessed in that club, but what I saw just happened to fit the bill perfectly.”
Dean claims that everything, from the atmosphere to the people present, culminated into “the perfect detention environment”.
“The purpose of detention is to discourage anyone from ever coming back,” explains Dean. “Anyone can tough out a boring classroom, but I doubt they can handle Power Ranger roleplayers, fedora-clad edgelords, and shitty anime theme songs on full blast.”
The principal is convinced that his new strategy works — during trials conducted with thirteen repeat offenders, ten of them did not commit any more misdemeanors following a single visit to the anime club.
Dean hopes that his newfound success will convince other schools or even entire districts to adopt his findings. However, some schools have expressed concerns over the negative mental effects of attending multiple anime club meetings.
At press time, multiple parents are attempting to sue the school for causing psychological trauma on their children.