I Enjoy All Anime, as Long as There Are Lolis

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Digibro once claimed that as anime bloggers, we have a skewed perspective of public opinion. This is because our barometer of “public opinion” is each other. As writers and wannabe critics, we tend to have an almost cynical viewpoint of the anime landscape. So exuberant we are that we’ve seen hundreds if not thousands of shows, and so zealous we are that we dedicate our time to writing about them on the internet. What we feel, what we think, and we tell others should they should feel, and how they should think. It should come to no surprise that our perception of Guilty Crown or Toaru Majutsu no Index is different from the fanbase at large –we’ve seen these concepts rehashed six times since Wednesday. And while many out there are still on that phase in their anime fan experience where every show is a wonderful masterpiece, for us that phase is a faint glimmer in our distant memory, like bell bottoms or Harrison Ford.

But at what point does it become a feedback loop — or my more preferred term, a circlejerk. I’m talking about that rise we get when we proudly eschew filthy peasant mainstream anime for our cool esoteric aniblogger-approved 13 episode original series. To voluntarily shut yourself off to general categories of anime is just plain ignorant, especially if the disqualifying factor is not quality, but rather popularity. Which is why I am taking this opportunity to claim that I am better than all other anime bloggers on the internet because I am not biased like this. I enjoy all types of anime.  All anime, regardless of genre, regardless of popularity, should have its time in the sun. Except anime that don’t have lolis. Fuck them.

classy

Pictured: True classy anime

Have you seen old anime? The art looks like shit. All the lines are blurry and there are no cute little girls. Thank God Kyoto Animation came along and taught anime how to appeal to its real audience — mouthbreathing lolicon. Are nubile loli characters too much to ask in a show? I think not. Giant robots, heart-pounding action, immersive storytelling, beautiful soundtracks, and character exposition are all fine and good, but a real anime is defined by its quality loli characters. That will be forever why Nanatsuiro Drops is the best anime of all time. And forever why your favorite Urobuchi Gen show is complete shit.

About the author

Editor-in-Chief, CEO, and Fearless Leader of Anime Maru. He was trained by the North Korean People's Institute of Journalism and Media. kevo follows voice actresses on Twitter and pretends to understand their Japanese tweets. Twitter: @kevo31415