Hello readers, today I would like to address the recent hoopla known as ‘Shirtgate’. For those of you fortunate enough not to be exposed to the constant idiocy that we know as the internet, Shirtgate is the saga of Dr. Matt Taylor. Dr. Taylor is a project manager on the Rosetta project, which has succeeded in tracking a comet over the course of the last decade and landing a probe on the surface. Even more importantly, however, he was caught on camera at a press conference wearing a shirt featuring cartoon women in various states of undress.
I am extremely frustrated with the reaction to this “controversy”. The fact that that attention is being focused away from the accomplishments of the Rosetta team and more towards Dr. Taylor is frankly infuriating. As a man who regularly wears shirts with cartoon women in various states of undress, where is my attention?
There are fewer pleasures in the world than going around in public and having maiwaifu plastered all over my body. It is a statement of true freedom — an expression to the world that the last vestiges of shame has left my corporeal being. What do I get for my undying devotion to maiwaifu? Some strange looks from passersby? The occasional mother hushing her child away? Pitiful.
Dr. Taylor wears a super tacky shirt and it manages to start a ridiculous outcry on the internet, just because he’s a scientist or some nonsense. Well, I deserve some recognition for me dedication too!
I bet Dr. Taylor doesn’t even have any girls on his car…