LEBANON, PA — Thanksgiving dinner at the Miller household was permeated by an air of awkwardness last night when 22-year-old Steven Miller got into a heated discussion with his relatives concerning anime girls with male genitalia.
“In eroge and hentai, futanari refers to female characters that have a penis and traps are male characters that crossdress,” Miller explained to his bewildered relatives. “It’s not the same thing!”
The discussion reportedly started when Steven’s aunt mentioned his new Facebook profile picture, which features Fujisaki Chihiro from Danganronpa dressed in skimpy female clothes and a visual bulge. After a brief exchange in which Steven’s uncle referred to Chihiro as a “cartoon hermaphrodite”, Steven could take no more.
“It’s not gay, ok?” Steven continued. “Chihiro-chan might physically be male, but she’s a girl at heart and that’s what matters.”
Approximately 20 seconds of silence followed until Steven’s father calmly stated that similar to last year’s discussion about Mahouka Koukou no Rettousei, they were ruining Thanksgiving dinner. Mabel Carter, Steven’s grandmother, then chimed in to correct her grandson.
“I wanted to tell Steven that according to Danbooru, futa are not female but rather hermaphrodites with male and female characteristics that may or may not be anatomically possible,” Carter said. She then went into detail about variations such as newhalf, no testicle, and full package futanari.
As her family continued to chaotically argue about penises and anime girls, Steven’s mother silently wished they would just to go back to talking about politics.