MyAnimeList Review Found Helpful by Zero People

myMalreviewsaregreatok

In a shocking discovery, MyAnimeList user Darren Mackenzie found an anime review he posted to the site over a year ago to still have exactly zero people that have found it helpful. Word of the event quickly spread, and a plethora of media outlets quickly responded.

“I just don’t understand,” Mackenzie told Anime Maru. “I thought it was a mistake at first, but it really did say zero people. I was sure it was one of my better reviews when I posted it. I thought at least one person would find it helpful by now, since the show I wrote it for was so popular at the time.”

The review, posted under the username Ikari_Shinji37, was for the anime Elfen Lied. The review rated the show at a 9 out of a possible 10, seemingly weighing categories such as plot, art, sound, music, characters, conclusion, and enjoyment equally. Mackenzie praised the show for its complex themes, depth, and symbolism juxtaposed with the show’s well-known gore and fanservice, as well as its lack of plot holes. Despite all these redeeming qualities, the review has still yet to garner the attention of even a single user, much to the despair of its author.

“It really hurts your confidence, you know?” Mackenzie said. “It makes me feel as if no one even cares about my opinions or what my top 10 favorite anime are. It’s like I wrote that 18-paragraph biography on my profile page for nothing!”

Other notable features of Mackenzie’s MAL profile at the time included rating shows before actually having completed them, zero users on his friends list, manga stats with a days counter over 50 times smaller than the Anime Stats, and not having rated a single show below a 7/10.

Mackenzie had sincerely believed in his review-writing ability, and had expected the review to beat his previous record of three people to have found it helpful.

“Why do other reviews get all the attention anyway?” at this point Mackenzie began crying.

“Those dumb sarcastic reviews that give out 10’s to awful shows are liked by thousands of people! Mars of Destruction is only a 7 at best!”

“No one appreciates all the work I put into my account; I’ve been a member for years, and I’ve meticulously thought out my anime rating system! I even enjoy premium extras as a MAL supporter! Why haven’t I even gotten a single comment on my profile yet?” Mackenzie then unburied his face from his body pillow. “I should really just give up on writing reviews…”

Mackenzie was reportedly last seen aiming to become a respectable user with a mean score lower than 5.00, and making an anime recommendation for one show completely unrelated to the other.

About the author

Vextrr has circumnavigated the globe on several occasions, and has trekked across the most barren of deserts, scaled the most daunting of mountains, sailed the most unforgiving of seas, traversed the darkest of depths of the internet, and has confirmed that his waifu, in fact, does not exist. Likely destined to still remain in denial for the rest of his life, he now spends his days watching anime and writing for Anime Maru.