Nintendo Announces Discontinuation of the Nintendo Switch

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Today Nintendo announced that they have shut down all production of their newest console, the Nintendo Switch, which is currently sold out at most retailers. This announcement comes after last week’s announcement that they are discontinuing the NES Classic, which also is sold out at most retailers.

Nintendo released an official statement, saying, “we have decided that it’s simply too risky to ship out any further consoles of any kind. Sure, both the NES Classic and Nintendo Switch were tremendously popular and sold out very quickly, but the same thing can be said of our Amiibo line, and when we restocked Amiibo we discovered that stores had them on their shelves for weeks. That sort of unsold product is not something we’re interested in, so it’s better to just not reship anything at all.”

Nintendo clarified that though they are discontinuing the Switch, they will continue to release games for it such as Splatoon 2 and Super Mario Odyssey, but that only people who currently own a Nintendo Switch will be able to play them.

“Honestly, we feel that anyone who didn’t buy a Nintendo Switch at launch is just bringing this on themselves. We’re only interested in the fans who are willing to refresh sales pages for hours waiting for Amazon to put our products up, or stand in line in retail stores several days before release date to buy our consoles. If you’re not willing to completely devote your life to us, then frankly we have no use for you.”

When asked about the rumors that they were planning on releasing a “Super Nintendo Switch” sometime this year, Nintendo said they couldn’t confirm anything yet, but suggested constantly refreshing Amazon just in case they decided to put up a thousand or so for sale without announcing it.

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Bob_Squob is neither a Bob nor a Squob, but they’re both common enough names to form an alias. After roaming the earth for 10,000 years with no purpose, he came upon Anime Maru, and thought to himself, “It is good. I will make my home here.” He currently resides in the darkness for fear that his taste in anime will be discovered and exploited as a weakness. Twitter: @Bob_Squob