Nyaa Commenter Realizes Opinions, Life Are Meaningless While Experiencing Site’s Downtime

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A longtime commenter on Nyaa Torrents has suddenly realized how meaningless his life and opinions are during the site’s ongoing downtime.

The man, who wishes to be identified by his Internet moniker Ironic_Goku_420, said that he spends much of his days shitposting in the comments section for individual torrents, even if he has not watched the anime in question. He says that he loves pushing buttons and launching days-long arguments about anime episodes and manipulating the battles with well-timed comments.

However, with Nyaa Torrents being inaccessible, Mr. Goku has been trying — and failing — to find a pursuit to fill that void.

“Everywhere else on the Internet just isn’t the same,” he said. “4chan is too chaotic. The Anime News Network forum is too full of easy marks. Something Awful has too many rules. And so on. There is no other site that offers that perfect balance for me. Also, it’s just hilarious to stir up shit in the comments of a torrent site.”

With so much time to reflect, Mr. Goku says he had an epiphany: Without shitposting to fill the time, his life is no different. There is simply more time available.

“It’s a weird thing to realize,” he said. “I never express any sincere opinions online, so I’ve never actually contributed anything to a discussion. And I spend all my time trolling people, so I’ve never improved myself in any significant way or found a place to belong. So my life is kind of a huge blot of nothing. I’m not sure what to do with myself. Maybe I could go back to school. Maybe I could volunteer somewhere. I’m not so hot on the military, but that might be something. There are options, I guess.”

For now, Mr. Goku said he has spent the downtime staring forlornly at the computer waiting for Nyaa to magically start running again.

“I’m not sure I’m ready to move on,” he said. “It’s the only place I know. The world outside is big and scary and kind of hot and uncomfortable right now. I don’t think I’m ready for it. How the hell do people actually go out and do things to fill up the day? I’m lost. I’m so lost …”

Not long after the initial interview, Mr. Goku sent along an email to Anime Maru:

“HAHAHA YOU THOUGHT I WAS ACTUALLY BEING SINCERE. YOU GOT WORKED. I STRUNG YOU ALONG LIKE A PUPPET AND PULLED ALL YOUR STRINGS. NOBODY GETS ONE OVER ON IRONIC_GOKU_420. YOUR FALSE EMPATHY IS MEANINGLESS.”

About the author

Emerging from the ultraviolent urban sprawl of the 1980s, Shinmaru is the Angel Cop, the 34th Mad Bull, the Wing of Garzey, and The Almighty King of the Street. His taste is total trash. Twitter: @Shinmaru