BAKERSFIELD. CA — Tragedy and awkwardness ensued earlier today, as longtime hardcore anime fan Sam Davenport was given a T-shirt featuring the characters from Naruto by his parents on his birthday. The 26-year-old tax accountant reportedly faked a smile, graciously thanked his parents for the “wonderful” gift, and claimed that Naruto was his “favorite show”. The scene escalated further when Lindsay and Scott Davenport suggested that Sam should “try it on and see how it looks!” Sam reportedly retreated to the bathroom and fought back tears while staring in the mirror.
“Well I know how much our precious Sam loves those animes [sic] and other Japanese fun things, so we knew something anime-related would be just perfect for my little Samuel!,” Lindsay Davenport told Anime Maru.
“I don’t know much about those big-eyed cartoon girls, so I walked into Hot Topic, since it’s where all the cool youngsters go. Luckily, a hip, polite young man (I think it was a man) helped us out when I told them we wanted to get something for my anime-loving child.”
“We wanted to make sure it was something Sam was interested in,” Scott Davenport added. “The neon-haired employee was so helpful. He first showed me some apparel for some Madoka magic girl something show, but it looked too childish. The store employee told us this shirt was popular, and our Sam spends so much time watching anime we knew he would have had to have at least seen the popular ones!”
Sam Davenport was later spotted returning the shirt and exchanging it for a new bikini Kirino shirt.