Fans Eagerly Wait for New Shows to Start Sucking

NAGOYA — Moriyama Takeshi sits alone in front of his computer, the monitor’s light illuminating his unkempt face. He reacts to what he sees on screen with a varying cycle…

Planetary Reclassification Forces Toei to Abandon Sailor Pluto in New Anime

TOKYO – The upcoming Sailor Moon Crystal anime series by Toei animation was forced to abandon the character of Sailor Pluto, after it was reclassified as a dwarf planet (Plutoid)…

Conspiracy Idol Anime ‘Wake Up Sheeple!’ To Air This Fall

OSAKA — Tatsunoko Productions and Ordet jointly announced Wednesday that their new animation project Wake Up Sheeple! has been greenlit. Wake Up Sheeple! is a spinoff of the popular idol anime Wake Up…

Nature Valley Inspires ‘Granola: The Animation’

The newfound popularity of Nature Valley brand granola bars among anime fans has spawned a new anime series. According to the popular Japanese blog “Moe Moe Sugoi Sugoi”, studio A-1…

New Anime-Themed Beers Ready to Pour This Week

MILWAUKEE, WI — The brewers at the Milwaukee Brewing Company are preparing to ship out the first shipments of two new anime-inspired beers to local liquor stores and taverns. A…

No Game No Life Anime Precipitates Breakthroughs in Game Theory

  CAMBRIDGE, MA — Researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology have announced new insights into the field of game theory thanks to the currently airing spring anime No Game No…

Seirin High School Principal in Shocking Audio: ‘Don’t Bring Any Moe Characters to Our Basketball Games’

TOKYO – An audio recording released by TMZ Japan allegedly features the principal of Tokyo’s Seirin High School, Sugiyama Amane, telling his girlfriend to not bring any “moe characters” to…

Scientists Grow First Fully-Formed Test Tube Waifu

OSAKA — After years of failed experiments and frustration, Japanese scientists have developed the world’s first full-grown test tube waifu. “Yui,” the result of the years-long YN Project, is a…

French Academy Begins Search for New Word to Describe Anime Following Akiba Riots

PARIS – Fearing that the word animé is now nothing more than a foreign word describing Japanese animation, the Académie française announced today that to protect the French language a…

Next Ace Attorney 3DS Game to be Set in Heian Era Japan

Japanese gaming magazine Famitsu revealed this week that the next installment of the Ace Attorney franchise will be set in Heian Era Japan, which lasted from 794 to 1185 A.D. The game will…