Report: US Anime Sales Suffer Due to Being Judged by Cashier

BURBANK, CA — An industry report released this week confirmed that sales of anime Blu-rays and DVD’s are suffering due to consumers’ fear of being judged by cashiers. The report claims that…

Popular Science Magazine Bans ‘Moe Denialists’

NEW YORK, NY – Popular Science magazine has announced a ban on all submissions denying the effects of moe on anime culture. “We simply cannot continue to serve as a…

Prisma Illya 2wei Premiere Proves Devin Faraci Was Right About Anime

NEW YORK, NY – Anime fans everywhere agreed that they were all a bunch of sick weirdos after watching the season premiere of Fate/Kaleid Liner Prisma Illya 2wei, the sequel…

Crunchyroll to Go in New Direction with Streaming: Twitter

SAN FRANCISCO — Crunchyroll has announced that starting in the fall 2014 anime season it will try an experiment with a couple of the shows it licenses: screenshot streams on…

Anime Blogger Surprised By Sexual Overtones for 768th Time

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Sam Brown, a blogger for the popular anime site “Shinji’s Right Hand”, was shocked again today to discover that an anime contained sexual overtones. This marks…

One-Time Anime Fan Disheartened After Watching Classic Anime

MADISON, WI – Brian Torkinsky had been an anime fan for several years until he was told by many people on the internet that he needed to watch classic anime….

MAPPA Accidentally Hires Yoko Ono to Compose Soundtrack for Zankyou no Terror

TOKYO, Japan — Representatives from animation studio MAPPA announced earlier this week that the company had accidentally contracted Yoko Ono to compose the soundtrack for this summer’s anime Zankyou no Terror….

Deep Analysis: The Hidden Meaning of Love Live

It should be no surprise that Love Live has as big of a following as it does, what with its cute characters, charming comedy, and multitudes of songs that fans…

New Bipartisan Bill Proposes ‘Split-Cour Presidency’

WASHINGTON, DC – a new bill in the U.S. House of Representative would allow a president to split his time in office into two cours, if reelected. The bill, which…

Lonely Otaku Spends Entire Vacation Missing Anime Expo

RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil — Rio de Janeiro is famous around the world as the “Cidade Maravilhosa“, but one anxious tourist just doesn’t understand its charms. Kevin Swift, an American tourist and…