Parents Unearth Son’s Terrible Fan Fiction

Madoka Fan Fiction

NEENAH, WI– Embarrassing fan fiction is something we’ve all had to deal with at some point. But for Jon Banks his Madoka Magica fan fiction cost him a college fund. Last week Banks parents were shocked to find a word document with pages upon pages of awful prose on their son’s laptop.

The file in question was titled “Beyond the Winners- a SayakaXKyoko fanfiction”, a Microsoft Word document with over 500,000 words in it. Banks’s parents immediately noticed the with repeated use of “XD” within the story’s contents. The story is self-described as “a exciting [sic] and erotic adventure about love, friendship, and Gen Urobuchi”. At the time of it’s release “Beyond the Winners” was the most read Madoka Magica fan fiction. Needless to say, the Banks family was shocked.

“I can’t believe my child would write such drivel” Maria Banks comments, “The characters are nothing like their portrayal in the show, did he even watch it?”

Banks’s father has only given one statement: “I have no son.”

Although Banks family stands firmly opposed to his writing, reviewers on fanfiction.net seem much more open to it. One user, xXNaruto/SasukeXx666, even called Banks “teh epicest riter on this site xD”.

The Banks family has taken away Jon’s college fund, reportedly to spend it on a child would could “write worth a damn”. In addition, the Banks family has seen to it that the fan fiction be erased from existence. Although its page on fanfiction.net has been taken down, there are reports of reposts showing up around the web.

Jon Banks had his own thoughts on the situation. “I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong. I just wanted to fix the shows obvious flaws. Writing Sayaka as the main character, giving her Kyoko as a romantic interest, and putting in my original character Bon Janks was the only way to really tell Madoka’s story. I didn’t think my parents would get that upset.”

The Banks family is offering Jon’s college fund to anyone who can write with such mastery as Gen Urobuchi. So far no one has fit the requirements.

About the author

Talking about himself in the third person has never be Morlock's strengths, however it would seem that duty calls for a change in POV. Hobbies include: self loathing, mindlessly consuming japanese media like the weeaboo that he is, and complaining. Mad Bull 34 is still the greatest anime Morlock has seen. For some reason he has a Twitter: @TheMorlock