Planetary Reclassification Forces Toei to Abandon Sailor Pluto in New Anime

Sailor Pluto

TOKYO – The upcoming Sailor Moon Crystal anime series by Toei animation was forced to abandon the character of Sailor Pluto, after it was reclassified as a dwarf planet (Plutoid) by the International Astronomical Union in 2006. Pluto was still classified as a planet during the show’s heyday in the 1990’s.

“Pluto has become a bit of a laughingstock since being astronomically demoted. I mean, who wants a dwarf planet as their Guardian Celestial Body? That’s just lame,” said director Munehisa Sakai.

Sailor Pluto herself, whose alternate identity is college student Meioh Setsuna, lashed out at the creators at a press conference in Akiba. “This is bullshit,” she said angrily. “The Moon isn’t a planet either. It’s a damn moon!”

Popular Astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson, who appeared at the press conference along with Sailor Pluto, agreed: “Pluto wasn’t demoted. It’s the best of all the dwarf planets. We even named an entire category after it – Plutoids.”

Akiba residents didn’t understand what all the fuss was about. One passerby could be heard saying: “Who cares? Only little girls watch that show anyway. Like they know the difference between a planet and a dwarf planet…”

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Based in a one man space station in geosynchronous orbit over Japan, Neontaster is a graduate of Hard Knocks Gakuen with a masters degree in Moeology. He usually has no idea what the hell he is talking about, but is marginally competent at faking it. You can pelt him with rotten digital vegetables on twitter @neontaster