Researchers Struggle to Explain ‘Gender Gap’ in Anime

"Just look at how upset  this guy is," said the report. "This is a serious problem."

“Just look at how upset this guy is,” said the report. “This is a serious problem.”

NEWARK, DE — Sociologists from the University of Delaware have released a new report that describes an unusual gender disparity among characters in anime. Researchers were shocked to discover the gender ratio in anime has evidently been skewed for quite some time, though they only recently were bored enough to acknowledge it.

“So we were watching the penultimate episodes of this season’s offerings; Sabagebu, Hanayamata, Rokujyouma, Blade Dance, etc., and we thought back on it all and asked ourselves… just how many males were actually in these shows?”, one such researcher recalls.

“The study observed a gradual upward trend in which 70 to 80 percent of anime characters are female. Whether this is the effect of evolution or some kind of genetic mutation, we don’t know… but most of the guys here say it probably isn’t worth worrying about”, the report reads.

Indeed, despite these findings, researchers were unable to determine the cause of this imbalance in anime gender ratios.

“We’ve reached a point where any one male can have anywhere from four to thirteen females competing for his attention. Some even have their own sisters chasing after them… it’s almost unprecedented”, the report reads.

“It’s no wonder so many harems are cropping up. The males that remain are in high demand. We also believe this phenomenon may also be the cause of an increase of… *ahem* closer… girl-girl relationships, over the years.”

“We can only speculate as to why there are so many pretty girls in anime,” the report continues. “So while the men of the anime world may find themselves at a loss of male friendships, they can at least find comfort in knowing that there is plenty of pussy around to ease the pain.”

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"Having been banned from every forum board in existence, Zeke Freek has taken his godtier levels of anime expertise and mad beat-boxing skills and brought them to the next level; internet journalism. Zeke is currently wondering how many job interview calls he won't be getting back after putting this site on his resume. Join him as he unravels the mysteries of the universe, like Bigfoot, the female orgasm, the secret cow level, and people who still use MySpace. Twitter: @ZekeFreek