Man Caught Peeping Into High School Claims ‘Slice of Life’ Defense

The Slice of Life Defense

FAIRFAX, VA — The trial of 57-year-old Gerald Russell, who was arrested earlier this year for lurking within a local high school campus and watching students, started earlier this week. The trial has attracted nationwide attention due to a surprising defense on his behalf: Russell claims that his actions were all because of his love of the anime genre slice of life.

“Like many anime fans, I enjoy a peaceful genre called slice of life, one that tries to get as close to everyday mundane experiences as possible, usually centering on high school girls,” Gerald explained to the jury. “I was merely taking my love of slice of life one step further by applying what I already enjoy in anime to actual life.”

Gerald went on to explain his investment in slice of life. “What’s really great about the genre is how well you get to know the characters involved. My personal favorites are Karen, who’s feisty and outgoing, Carol, who’s shy and timid, and Maria, who’s just the most innocent and naive girl you’ve ever known. There’s something so refreshing about listening to their natural and personal conversations, it really makes you feel like you’re right there with them.”

“There’s nothing weird or perverted about my actions. Slice of life is a very pure genre; one might say my love for these girls is the most pure of all love. Of course, as with all anime there’s naturally going to be some fan service scenes in changing rooms, and I admit some of the camera angles I took with my phone may have been a little lewd, but that doesn’t take away from the purity of the experience.”

Tomorrow’s testimony will be Connie Jackson, the girl who discovered Gerald in the bushes with his pants down, who Gerald describes as a “stereotypical tsundere,” and “definitely worst girl.”

About the author

Bob_Squob is neither a Bob nor a Squob, but they’re both common enough names to form an alias. After roaming the earth for 10,000 years with no purpose, he came upon Anime Maru, and thought to himself, “It is good. I will make my home here.” He currently resides in the darkness for fear that his taste in anime will be discovered and exploited as a weakness. Twitter: @Bob_Squob