Scientists Grow First Fully-Formed Test Tube Waifu

Yui as she appeared in her growth pod, shortly before hatching

OSAKA — After years of failed experiments and frustration, Japanese scientists have developed the world’s first full-grown test tube waifu.

“Yui,” the result of the years-long YN Project, is a shy, demure woman with the physical body of an 18-year-old and the temperament of a loving wife. Immediately upon emerging from her growth pod, Yui set out to find the kitchen and cook dinner for her creators.

“She’s an amazing specimen,” said Dr. Nishimura, the director of the YN Project. “The breakthrough came when we figured out how to wire her personality to be obedient even one has not ordered her to do anything. Oh, here she is with a tart for me! Thank you, Yui!”

The scientists hope to perfect development so that they can mass produce waifus, but they are taking their work one step at a time for now. However, that has not stopped them from thinking about branching out when the time comes.

“We’ve already received requests for the imouto model of waifu,” Dr. Nishimura said. “We’re still working on reworking the waifus so that they’ll address specific people as ‘onii-chan,’ but I am confident that we will conquer this problem eventually.”

Anime Maru attempted to interview Yui for this report, but she responded by looking away and blushing shyly for an hour.

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Emerging from the ultraviolent urban sprawl of the 1980s, Shinmaru is the Angel Cop, the 34th Mad Bull, the Wing of Garzey, and The Almighty King of the Street. His taste is total trash. Twitter: @Shinmaru