Seirin High School Principal in Shocking Audio: ‘Don’t Bring Any Moe Characters to Our Basketball Games’

Tetsuya Kuroko warmed up wearing a Clannad shirt in protest

Tetsuya Kuroko warmed up wearing a Clannad shirt in protest

TOKYO – An audio recording released by TMZ Japan allegedly features the principal of Tokyo’s Seirin High School, Sugiyama Amane, telling his girlfriend to not bring any “moe characters” to the school’s basketball games.

“Those moe characters… you can do anything you want with them. You can fap to them, you can bring them in, you can do whatever you want. Just don’t bring them to my games,” Sugiyama allegedly said during the chilling eight minute tape.

The explosive audio has already triggered harsh condemnations from Japan’s Inter-high school Basketball League, as well as from players at Seirin High, who removed their school jerseys in protest before last night’s game and ran their warm ups wearing t-shirts featuring various characters from Key visual novels.

“I don’t understand how he could be this insensitive,” said Seirin High player Testuya Kuroko. “I mean, just look at me with my little puppy eyes; some could even argue that I was a moe character. Would Principal Sugiyama have me banned from the games as well?”

“We hope that Inter-high is diligent with their investigation and take appropriate action. Moe hate has no place in anime,” commented Anime Basketball Players Association President Minato Tomoka.

The statements were also condemned by Japan’s newly-appointed 13-year-old Prime Minister, Itou Nanami, who is herself a moe girl. “That guy is just a total baka,” she said, right before mysteriously running off in the middle of her press conference.

About the author

Based in a one man space station in geosynchronous orbit over Japan, Neontaster is a graduate of Hard Knocks Gakuen with a masters degree in Moeology. He usually has no idea what the hell he is talking about, but is marginally competent at faking it. You can pelt him with rotten digital vegetables on twitter @neontaster