Selector Infected WIXOSS Causes Sharp Decline in Card Sales

The memo leaked to Anime Maru contained the following image with the caption: "How does this sell cards?!?!"

The memo leaked to Anime Maru contained the following image with the caption: “How does this sell cards?!?!”

TOKYO – The anime series Selector Infected WIXOSS by J.C. Staff, which is currently airing, has actually caused a sharp decline in sales of the WIXOSS card game by Takara Tomy, which the anime was created to promote. This, according to reports, due to the anime’s horrifically dark and twisted nature.

“Children are scared of our game,” Admitted Takara Tomy’s chief of Marketing, Edogawa Ryuunosuke. “Focus group questionnaires have revealed that children associate our game with sadism, incest, facial disfigurement, lying, and a myriad of other scary, unpleasant, and negative scenarios. It is literally a marketing nightmare.”

Edogawa placed the blame on the anime’s production staff in an internal memo leaked to Anime Maru. In it he writes: “Who the hell thought it was a good idea to hire Mari Okada to write this thing?! That woman makes Urobuchi look like Miyazaki! We are making toys for freaking children here. This isn’t rocket science, people!”

In addition to the mounting tension between Takara Tomy and J.C. Staff over Selector Infected WIXOSS, Japan’s Animal Protection Agency has decided to cancel a future anime project it had been planning due to Okada’s involvement. The agency hired Okada late last year to write an anime encouraging people to adopt puppies and kittens, but was reportedly displeased with her proposed script, which featured a race of cannibal mutants who mutilated and ate puppies and kittens for fun.

About the author

Based in a one man space station in geosynchronous orbit over Japan, Neontaster is a graduate of Hard Knocks Gakuen with a masters degree in Moeology. He usually has no idea what the hell he is talking about, but is marginally competent at faking it. You can pelt him with rotten digital vegetables on twitter @neontaster