LOS ANGELES, CA — Animation studio SHAFT has announced earlier today that they intend to bid for ownership of the Los Angeles Clippers if the team becomes available for sale.
Since NBA commissioner Adam Silver banned Clippers owner Donald Sterling from the NBA for life and implored the Board of Governors to vote and force a sale of the team, celebrities have been lining up to make a bid to buy the Clippers. While this list includes billionaires Oprah Winfrey and Larry Ellison, Studio SHAFT easily has the most financial firepower to make a strong bid for the Los Angeles-based team.
“We believe we should buy the Clippers because why not? Madoka has made us so much money we don’t know what to do,” said director Shinbou Akiyuki. “I don’t even like basketball, but that Kurobas is pretty popular, right? And that’s basketball too, I think.”
“Maybe we’ll use it as an advertising platform or something, I know you guys flip out over that shit,” Shinbou added. “Also, did you see Kevin Durant’s MVP speech? I haven’t seen that many men in tears since the premier of Rebellion Story. I think it would be a great fit for us.”
At press time, Shinbou was sketching player bobbleheads dolls with sideways heads and uniforms with angular pastel-colored patterns.