‘Strike Witches’ to be added to Japanese History Textbooks

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TOKYO, Japan — Japanese Ministry of Education announced earlier today that Strike Witches, an anime franchise centered around girls not wearing pants, be featured in a set of all new history  textbooks to be released later this year.

The vote among members of the Ministry was contentious at times. “This is the literally the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life,” one dissenter exclaimed. “It does a great disservice to the atrocities that occurred during in the 30’s and 40’s in Japan and around the world.”

Others had a different view. “We here in Japan have proud history of pantlessness. Some of our greatest heroes fought valiantly for this nation without pants. Oda Nobunaga, for example. At least that’s what late night anime tells me,” a politician in support of the motion explained. “I think it is high time that they get the recognition they deserve in our children’s education.”

“If we don’t remember these brave girls and their struggle against alien invaders, who will? That is why our children must be told their story in their text books and beyond.”

The section concerning Strike Witches will replace more controversial topics, such as Korean comfort women, the Rape of Nanking, and other less then savory events in of Japanese history.

As of press time, talk among insiders in the Ministry suggest that a section on Kancolle could be added to all history books by 2017.

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The Queen of the Monster Girls from a distant planet, Fluffy Harpy first came to Earth with the intention of conquering it. She is however quite lazy, and has since given up on that goal and now fills her days with anime, video games, and occasionally writing for this very site. Someday she will show you all. twitter: @fluffyharpy