Studio Pierrot Breaks Ties with Donald Trump After Racist Remarks About Ninja

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“When Studio Pierrot sends its ninja, they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending you. They’re not sending you. They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people.”

–Real estate mogul Donald Trump, presidential announcement speech, June 16, 2015

Studio Pierrot, under pressure from one of its largest demographics, has decided to break ties with Trump who will no longer have partial ownership over the studio. The decision was purportedly long in the works, using the presidential campaign as a catalyst to carry it out. As far back as 2013, Trump tweeted, “According to Bill O’Reilly, 80% of all the stabbings in New York City are ninja. If you add shinigami, that figure goes to 98%. 1% American.” The tweet itself enraged shinobi across all Hidden Villages.

It is true that historically, ninja (mostly shinobi) have engaged in violence and death in the form of war. This only serves to highlight further parallels between American society and ninja society and suggests that the so called “endless chain of hatred” is applicable to all. It was not lost on citizens of Kirigakure (also known as the Village of the Hidden Mist) who have long been judged for their history of genocide against those who possessed kekkai genkai. As one Kiri shinobi put it: “I mean, the Americans killed Native Americans right? I’d say we’re pretty similar human beings after all.”

The ninja population was also quick to rebut the statement that they are comprised of rapists and drug dealers among them. Democrats maintain that the ninja are merely immigrants in search of better lives. After an Anime Maru reporter was sent to visit Konoha, the Village of the Hidden Leaves, the truth of the ninja’s current living circumstances were revealed. As it turns out, the ninja community missed out on the technological wave that America has ridden during the 21st century. While there were several signs of a tech boom (such as the mission to find the lost cat Tora in which the first signs of technology, earpiece communication devices, were utilized), innovation halted abruptly afterwards.

Trump remains indifferent to the humanitarian aspect of giving illegal ninja immigrants leniency, to which Obito Uchiha refuted, “Sure, in a ninja’s world, those who violate the laws and fail to follow orders…are lower than garbage. However…those who do not care for and support their fellows…are even lower than that!” When asked what was lower than “garbage”, Mr. Uchiha responded with resolve, “Uh. Americans?”

Not all Americans maintain Trump’s view on illegal immigrants. Democrats claim to be advocates of human rights and also support the argument that immigrant ninja will benefit the economy. The issue has also reunited the once divided Democratic party on the issue of the Keystone Pipeline, rendering the question of environmental harm obsolete. Congress’s energy and Commerce committee has already begun to discuss legislation for a new source of energy that can be harnessed from immigrant ninja, chakra. The issue of human rights has not been addressed as of now.

Studio Pierrot does not plan to conduct any further business with Donald Trump, a decision that was reached after overwhelming consensus by ninja, shinigami, and ghouls alike. “While the money was very useful for production value, we are okay and in fact used to choppy movement and unaligned eyes. Our integrity and pride matter far more. Donald Trump’s statements are unforgivable,” one shinobi stated. Naruto Uzumaki added on, “It’s as though Trump doesn’t think before he speaks—dattebayo.”

Studio Pierrot (named aptly after the Japanese loanword word for clown) was once the studio that had the last laugh. However, with this new cutting of business ties, the position may have to be solely reserved for Donald Trump.

About the author

Part time hibernator and professional computer starer. She likes the three minutes you have to wait after you pour water in a ramen cup and hates cute anime mascot creatures. Twitter: @Dango_Ramen