Subaru Sales Explode After ‘Re:Zero’ Episode

SUBARUCHERRY HILL, NJ — Earlier this week, car maker Subaru experienced an unexpected uptick in sales following the airing of Re:Zero on TV Tokyo. Avid fans of the series reportedly stormed the company’s affiliated car dealers and completely filled its order book for the next 3 months.

According to reports, the main reason behind this sudden surge is because Subaru “finally managed get his shit together [in the last episode]”.

“Last time we had such an increase in car sales was in 2007, when fans of Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha StrikerS were caught trying to jump out of their cars at full speed on highways to increase their roller’s speed,” Subaru chairman and CEO Tomomi Nakamura told Anime Maru.

Many dealers have begun offering exclusive features, include a plastic bag containing some cup noodles and a full-size dakimakura of Emilia.

“We don’t really care about Rem fanbase since they are fagget anyway.” he said when questioned about it.

“I’m not delusional though, a lot of those orders will probably get cancelled as the show will definitely be shit at the end”, Nakamura added. When asked why he had such opinion about it, he simply answered, “I read the novel.”

About the author

Omelette du fromage specialist and Moeshit University graduate, Mereck never really forgave the English-speaking world for the battle of Crécy. He intend on promoting the superior Japanese Moeshit culture to overthrow the imperialist English culture. Can be usually found training with lolis on military and space simulators in order to prepare for the next phases of his plans. Contractor for the Tristain government in RL.