The Ten Types of Anime Fans

After running several lengthy and exhaustive surveys, the Anime Maru staff has compiled a list of the ten types of anime fans. This is the result of years upon years of hard earned research dedicated to a simple list categorizing a niche fandom. After all, why shouldn’t everything be categorized? Be sure to leave a comment about which type you are, because that will be insightful and totally original.

The Casual

The Casual doesn’t watch anime. Maybe it’s heard of Cowboy Bebop or a highly recommended show called ‘Boku no something or other’ but it doesn’t care. The Casual also thinks it’s nice that you have a hobby, but it’s just not for him.

The Casual

Pros: Socially well adjusted, generally a nice guy.
Cons: You will never be as happy or as ignorant as him.

The Weeaboo

The Weeaboo  just discovered anime, and guess what? Every show is great! Sword Art Online, Attack On Titan, The Great Ape Escape, these shows can do no wrong. And if you don’t like it, that must be because it’s popular! And if it’s popular it must be good!

The Weeaboo

Pros: Easily manipulated into watching anything, good or bad.
Cons: Will look back on this stage of its life with profound regret.

The Otaku

The Otaku isn’t The Weeaboo because the Weeaboo watches bad shows. The Otaku is much better versed and watches critically acclaimed shows like Fate/Zero, Aldnoah.Zero, Psycho-Pass, or anything with Gen Urobuchi’s name on it. These shows are dark, so they must be mature, and since they are mature they must be good.

The Otaku

Pros: Much easier to talk to than The Weeaboo.
Cons: Despite it all, it still has just as bad taste as The Weeaboo.

The Seasonal

The Seasonal hasn’t seen anything from before it started watching anime, but it’s watched everything afterwards. There’s no distinction between genre, theme, or demographic, The Seasonal watches everything that’s airing. Hours upon hours are wasted only to start the process over again next week.

The Seasonal

Pros: Completely up to date knowledge on shows that will be forgotten about within months.
Cons: Never talk to them about an 80s anime.

The Waifu

The Waifu is dedicated to one character. Its obsession knows no bounds. Typical behavior consists of saving terabytes of images depicting their waifu, creating a shrine to their waifu, and attempting to sew together a human ‘woman suit’ in the image of their waifu. Beware of stray body pillows and self insert fanfiction pairing.

The Waifu

Pros: Extremely dedicated.
Cons: Will settle for an asian girlfriend.

The Fujoshi

The Fujoshi loves men. The Fujoshi has never touched a man. While they may be hard to spot at first, The Fujoshi will always gravitate towards the nearest source of gay porn. It hates yuri, and finds it too objectifying. But Yaoi is different, according the The Fujoshi it’s the purest form of love. But as we all know, The Fujoshi is wrong.

The Fujoshi

Pros: Usually a good artist.
Cons: Only draws gay men.

The Cancer

The Cancer only watches shows with cute girls. This gives The Cancer a significant overlap with The Waifu, but with one very fine distinction. The Cancer will change out its object of female obsession everytime it starts a new show. It will jump from one Slice of Life show to another until eventually they blend together into one disjointed mess of shit. There is no loyalty, only moe.

The Cancer

Pros: Likes Azumanga Daioh.
Cons: Likes Lucky Star.

 

The Daywalker

The Daywalker is an abomination. Somehow it managed to avoid the glasses, neckbeard, and crippling obesity that come with being an anime fan. Despite looking like The Casual, The Daywalker possess a much larger catalogue of anime. They could be anywhere, at any time, just waiting to reveal their power level.

The Daywalker

Pros: They work hard to blend in. But it’s all pretending, like a dream.
Cons: The fact that it looks like a casual makes it act like a casual.

The Elitist

The Elitist has heard of it all. There’s no one with more impeccable taste than The Elitist. No one else has seen or enjoyed as many anime as it has. The Elitist is the alpha dog of the betas. It faces the scrutiny of the entire anime community, but deep down they know The Elitist is always right because anime is bad.

The Elitist

Pros: Perfect taste in anime.
Cons: Thinks everything is shit.

The End

The End has been through all the stages of an anime fan. It is the true accumulation of every shred of Japanese media in existence. Language barriers have been broken. There are no limits on length, obscurity, or even quality of the series it enjoys. The End consumes all without the slightest hesitation. The slightest glimpse of The End will send you into oblivion. Its touch wilts the body pillows it desecrates. All will love it and despair.

The End

Pros: Is a god.
Cons: Is still an anime fan.

About the author

Talking about himself in the third person has never be Morlock's strengths, however it would seem that duty calls for a change in POV. Hobbies include: self loathing, mindlessly consuming japanese media like the weeaboo that he is, and complaining. Mad Bull 34 is still the greatest anime Morlock has seen. For some reason he has a Twitter: @TheMorlock