NAPLES, FL — Local adoption agencies have received a boom in adoption rates over the past month, but are dismayed to find that many of the recent adopters are coming back a few days after adopting to return the children to their respective orphanages.
“It’s strange,” orphanage employee Marie Rogers said. “It seemed like every Tuesday we were getting a stream of men in their twenties coming in looking to adopt a child around the age of three. We didn’t think much of it at first, but when they kept coming to return them we knew something was wrong.”
The National Center for Adoption learned that the children were being adopted in response to the feeling of crippling loneliness brewing within local otaku in response to Amaama to Inazuma, or Sweetness and &Lightning, an anime from this current season that follows a widowed dad struggling to cook food for his daughter.
Rogers said that it wasn’t fair for the children. “Our orphanage is now overflowing with girls who had their name legally changed to Tsumugi.”
While Rogers is uninterested in dealing with the new paternal desires in these otaku, the animal humane society branches in the area have begun to advertise specifically to this demographic, naming cats and dogs variations on Tsumugi or Kotori, and adding tidbits like “loves hamburger steak” on the potential pets’ cages.