Santa Clara, CA – After watching Mirai at the AMC Mercado 20, single engineer Bob concluded the movie to be the best form of birth control to date.
“I was getting a little worried,” Bob stated. “After Maquia, Wolf Children, and Sweetness and Lightning, I was this close to having a kid. But Kun was the most annoying kid I’ve ever seen in anime and I’m confident I definitely do not want children.”
Bob went on to mention that there may be exceptions to his convictions if the kids in question were of an older age.
“Once kids hit their angsty teenage days of sitting at the window seat in the corner of the classroom, now that’s a precious time with windows of opportunity. It’d be nice to be part of that as a parent.”
Despite these wistful thoughts of mentoring pubescent children through their myriad of insecurities, romantic woes, and disillusionment into adulthood, Bob maintained that raising a whining child from birth to teenager might still be too much.
“I mean, by then even if the kid is in their crux of adolescence, I might be too exhausted and annoyed by their younger years and not want to bother anymore,” Bob added.
When asked why he preferred to raise an adolescent child, Bob underscored the difference between a young child’s needs and a teenager’s needs.
“Look at Kun. He keeps whining about stupid things like toy trains. Now look at all the high schoolers; they have profound, complex troubles like loneliness and relationship problems. This is a person’s entire life’s worth of problems happening here, not that it has ever happened to me.”
“Either way, if there’s anything I learned from this movie besides bad CGI houses, it’s that I don’t want kids,” Bob said. “I don’t know what Japan was thinking. Their population growth is already bad enough as it is.”