Area Man Makes Concrete Progress on His Plan-to-Watch List

BUFORD, GA — Local authorities resolved a missing persons case this week upon discovering the reported individual had been making actual progress on his anime plan-to-watch list. Nathan Sadler had not been seen in public for nearly two weeks. A local bookstore owner called in to report that Sadler had gone missing.

Officers entered Sadler’s one-room apartment at 3:46 a.m. to discover to their surprise that Sadler was alive and well, sitting up in his bed. The man was found intently focused on a pair of laptops propped upon body pillows.  One laptop was playing an episode of Kaiji: Ultimate Survivor. The other showed Sadler’s MyAnimeList “Plan to Watch” page, which by some miracle contained only 36 entries.

Sadler later explained to authorities that the reason for his disappearance was that he felt it was the only way he would be able to make concrete progress on his plan-to-watch list. Due to shows like Kill La Kill, One Punch Man, Keijo, and others, Sadler explained how he had gotten overexcited and vastly overextended the list of titles he intended to get to. When the summer season of 2018 came around, a season so terrible that Sadler could find no new shows worth adding to his watchlist, Sadler saw the opportunity to gain some breathing room and catch up on his ever growing backlog.

“Every season has dozens of amazing shows and as a true otaku I feel that it is my duty to watch them all,” Sadler told our correspondent.

“Some may call it insane to throw away what little social interaction I had in a day in order to binge cartoons, but those people don’t know the true satisfaction of being able to complete their plan-to-watch lists. I think we all know who the real winner is here,” added Sadler before going back to staring at an illuminated rectangle for hours on end.

Sadler stated that he intended to begin his anime marathon much earlier, but was prevented from doing so due to the MyAnimeList server crash several months ago. Unable to function without the reassurance of a self-curated list, the man instead spent several hours per day restlessly pacing back and forth in his room.

We asked Sadler what he thought about the Fall 2018 season, to which he responded by saying it looked like pure trash. As we left the man’s residence, Sadler’s plan-to-watch list had somehow grown again to 67 entries.

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Starprophet is a few hundred meerkats in the shape of a man, held together by rage and one very charismatic squirrel