Blog Archives

Report: Everybody at Anime Expo But You

LOS ANGELES, CA — Anime Expo began today, and AX officials have already determined their attendance numbers: Everyone but you, the reader of this article. “Anime Expo has been growing…

Famed ‘One Piece’ Mangaka Has Become More Machine Than Man

Oda Eiichiro, the creator of the hit series One Piece, has always been an elusive individual. However, in a rare recent private interview, he revealed that the secret to his health is a result not of vampirism (as had been earlier suspected) but of a slow process of him replacing his skin and internal organs with cybernetic implants.

New Report Concludes That 60% of Japanese Adults Are Actually Children

Earlier this week, the Japanese government released a statement addressing the recent controversy that much of the nation’s adults are much younger than they appear.

Japan’s has struggled with workplace demographics for decades, and experts have long feared that due to low birthrates the nation would soon have difficulties maintaining its supply of labor. With this new revelation, it appears that the issue has not been with the birthrate at all, but rather the fact that a significant proportion of Japan’s adult population are actually children.

Pre-orders Open for Life-Sized Replica of Zero Two’s Tongue

Today’s guest post is brought to you by Pringle. You can follow him on Twitter @CoolSpaceCadet. Figurex, in collaboration with Studio Trigger, announced this week that a life-sized model of…

Studio Trigger Panel at Anime Expo Draws Raucous Fan Reactions

LOS ANGELES, CA — Fans and media crowded a conference hall at Anime Expo today to attend a panel by Trigger. Anticipation is high for the studio’s official announcements —…

Anime Maru Goes to Japan!

After several years of hard work to climb the proverbial Everest of anime journalism, we here at Anime Maru have finally been able to reap our reward: an all-expenses paid…

Man Scammed Out of Thousands of Dollars in Fraudulent Anime Scheme

MILWAUKEE, WI — A 34-year-old local resident was shocked to discover this week that the anime DVD collection he has been amassing over the past several years was largely fake.
James Teager told Anime Maru that he has been buying DVD’s and Blu-Ray disks for over decade, building up a collection of over 500 series. The accumulation of his life’s work, however, has not paid off. According to Teager, at least half do not contain discs at all — he has found blank discs, change, and pieces of cardboard, inside the packaging where anime movies and TV shows should be.

Researchers Remain Optimistic as Search For Alternate Universes Intensifies

BATAVIA, IL –The United States Department of Energy released a statement this afternoon claiming that researchers are still hopeful about locating an “isekai” — also known as an alternate world — even as the search enters its sixth year without results. Speaking to reporters at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory, Dr. Albert Porchowsky insisted that the latest models of quantum mechanics predicts the existence of alternate worlds like those depicted in Re: Zero and Konosubarashii Sekai ni Shukufuku wo!.

Xebec Announces ‘Chinpo!o!!!!!!!!’ Anime Adaptation

Anime studio Xebec announced earlier today that it has started production on the anime adaptation of the manga Chinpo!o, created by Daichi Sorayomi. Localized as Dick Whip Guy, the manga tells the story of a man who aspires to be the best in chinpo!o, a gambling sport where male contestants stand on a floating platform and try to push each other off the platform. The twist, however, is that the contestants are only allowed to use their backside and phallic member.

Former NEET Disappointed by ‘Working!!’ Environment

NORMAN, OK — Local NEET-turned-productive-member of society Chad Wilson, 35, is disappointed by the real world. After watching all three seasons of Working!! and catching up to the currently airing WWW.Working!!, he decided to change his lifestyle by leaving his basement and starting to work at his local Denny’s. While he was initially positive about doing something with his live and making some money for once, his new job has given him a number of problems.