Blog Archives

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Move Out of Mom’s Basement

VANCOUVER ISLAND, Canada — Prince Harry and Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex, have announced earlier this month that they intend to move out of their mother’s basement and live their…

Most Experienced Candidate for Demon Lord Passed Over for Human Teen

DEMON KINGDOM, Underworld — Soulcrusher Smith, widely considered to be the best candidate to become the new Demon Lord, has been passed over for the role, according to a news…

In Likely App Error, ‘Attack on Titan’ Wins New Hampshire Primary, Crunchyroll Awards Won by Bernie Sanders

CONCORD, NH — In a surprise upset, Attack on Titan has been declared the winner of the New Hampshire Democratic Primary. In equally shocking results, Bernie Sanders has won the…

Normal Human Mistakenly Enrolls in Normal High School

TOKYO, Japan — Normal human student Haruto Takahashi has found himself mistakenly enrolled in a normal Japanese high school, Seijo High, according to a post on his Facebook. This has…

Evangelion Funko Pops Make Angels Weep

TOKYO, Japan – The announcement of Funko Pop figurines based on the popular anime Neon Genesis Evangelion has lead to dismay among some of the series’ more hardcore fans. Perhaps…

Report: Average Anime Protagonist Doesn’t Have the Ability to Read

A recent study conducted by the National Graduate Institute for Policy Studies has found that anime protagonists significantly under-perform academically compared to their peers, with many being unable to even…

Netflix Documentary ‘Enter the Anime’ Now Officially Anime, According to Netflix

LOS GATOS, CA – Earlier today, Netflix announced that their anime documentary Enter the Anime is now officially anime, according to a press release sent to anime news publications in…

Otaku Tragically Shipwrecked on Island Without Anime Girls

Hank Robinson has been shipwrecked on an island that tragically contains no anime girls, according to a note found in a bottle on a beach in Honolulu, Hawaii. “When I…

Man Sure He Will Finish That Anime From Last Season

TROY, NY – Marcus Whitman announced today on Facebook that he will definitely be finishing that anime from last season despite the new season being well under way. “Yeah, you…

Joe Biden Uses ‘Little Witch Academia’ Meme to Reassure Supporters

PHILADELPHIA, PA – Following in the footsteps of fellow Democratic candidate Marianne Williamson, former Vice President Joe Biden has released on Facebook a Little Witch Academia meme to reassure potential…