Blog Archives

Report: Average Anime Protagonist Doesn’t Have the Ability to Read

A recent study conducted by the National Graduate Institute for Policy Studies has found that anime protagonists significantly under-perform academically compared to their peers, with many being unable to even…

Netflix Documentary ‘Enter the Anime’ Now Officially Anime, According to Netflix

LOS GATOS, CA – Earlier today, Netflix announced that their anime documentary Enter the Anime is now officially anime, according to a press release sent to anime news publications in…

Otaku Tragically Shipwrecked on Island Without Anime Girls

Hank Robinson has been shipwrecked on an island that tragically contains no anime girls, according to a note found in a bottle on a beach in Honolulu, Hawaii. “When I…

Man Sure He Will Finish That Anime From Last Season

TROY, NY – Marcus Whitman announced today on Facebook that he will definitely be finishing that anime from last season despite the new season being well under way. “Yeah, you…

Joe Biden Uses ‘Little Witch Academia’ Meme to Reassure Supporters

PHILADELPHIA, PA – Following in the footsteps of fellow Democratic candidate Marianne Williamson, former Vice President Joe Biden has released on Facebook a Little Witch Academia meme to reassure potential…

High Schooler’s Parents Return Home After Years of Absence

TOKYO, Japan – Area high school student Rito Shikimori found that his parents had returned from their 786 day trip abroad unexpectedly this morning, according to a Facebook post. The…

Aspiring Ecchi Otaku Unsure if ‘Yatogame-chan Kansatsu Nikki’ Was the Show About Tights or Thighs

SANDUSKY, OH – Local otaku Brent Walker was excited to hear about the two new 5 minute episode anime shows this season focusing on thighs and tights, respectively. However, even…

18-Year-Old Anime Fan Thinks Shinji is “Whiny” in Netflix Original Series ‘Evangelion’

FORT WAYNE, IN — Spencer Langley, 18, announced on Twitter today that he finds Ikari Shinji, the protagonist of the new Netflix Original Series Evangelion, whiny. “The mechs in Evangelion…

Villagers Disappointed Local Deity Not Cute

GERO, Japan – Local villagers were disappointed today when their local shrine god, Kaeru, came to life and wasn’t cute in the least according to negative posts made on social…

34th Annual Sanrio Character Ranking Won by Russian Bear Hack-san

TOKYO, Japan – Sanrio has announced that the 34th annual Sanrio Character Ranking has been officially won in a surprisingly upset by Russian bear character, Hack-san. “While some might view…