Blog Archives

Harem Anime Protagonist Shocked to Find so Few Potential Love Interests in Dating Sim

OKAYAMA, Japan — Kodaka Saito, a harem anime protagonist, was shocked and disappointed at the number of potential love interests in a dating sim he has started playing, according to…

Man Hopes Frequent Nosebleeds Just Due to Sexy Anime Girls

DICKINSON, ND — Jason David, self professed otaku, has announced to the world that he hopes his frequent severe nosebleeds are only due to all the sexy anime girls he…

Tokyo Olympics Moves to Have All Events Performed by Anime Characters

TOKYO, Japan — In response to international pressure to cancel the 2020 Tokyo Olympics over concerns related to the Coronavirus Pandemic, the Japanese government has announced by press release, and…

Otaku More Interested in who Dog is Reincarnation of Rather Than Own Family Tree

NEWARK, NJ — Local otaku Ben Fields, 19, is more interested in finding out who his pet dog is a reincarnation of rather than his own family tree, according to…

Citing Coronavirus Concerns, Japan Bans Indirect Kisses

TOKYO, Japan — With the outbreak of COVID-19 declared a global pandemic, Japan has taken the significant step of banning the indirect kiss according to a press conference held for…

Magical Girl Recruitment Down Due to Anti-Magical Girl Anime Propaganda

TOKYO, Japan — Magical girl recruitment is down across Japan, according to a recent press release from the Magical Girl Recruitment Trade Association. The cause that is being blamed by…

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Move Out of Mom’s Basement

VANCOUVER ISLAND, Canada — Prince Harry and Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex, have announced earlier this month that they intend to move out of their mother’s basement and live their…

Most Experienced Candidate for Demon Lord Passed Over for Human Teen

DEMON KINGDOM, Underworld — Soulcrusher Smith, widely considered to be the best candidate to become the new Demon Lord, has been passed over for the role, according to a news…

In Likely App Error, ‘Attack on Titan’ Wins New Hampshire Primary, Crunchyroll Awards Won by Bernie Sanders

CONCORD, NH — In a surprise upset, Attack on Titan has been declared the winner of the New Hampshire Democratic Primary. In equally shocking results, Bernie Sanders has won the…

Normal Human Mistakenly Enrolls in Normal High School

TOKYO, Japan — Normal human student Haruto Takahashi has found himself mistakenly enrolled in a normal Japanese high school, Seijo High, according to a post on his Facebook. This has…