Blog Archives

Prime Minister Shinzo Abe Retires, Takes Unstoppable Army of Mechs With Him

TOKYO, Japan — Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe has announced that he is retiring due to health issues in a press conference held Friday. He also said he would be…

Your Takes — Hatsune Miku Can’t Understand Virtual Idols These Days

As a virtual idol I’ve always tried to focus on the quality of my music, but these virtual YouTubers just seem to play video games, be bad at English, and…

Boy Aims For Koshien, Grandparents Not Dying of COVID-19

TOKYO, Japan — Local student Kisaragi Koh, 16, expressed that he is aiming to reach the High School Baseball Championships at Koshien this year, while having his grandparents not contract…

Man Wishes Anime Had Accompanying Gacha Game

POST FALLS, ID — Anime fan Liam Lance reportedly has been disappointed that his favorite new anime Lapis Re:LiGHTs doesn’t have its own gacha game, according to a recent TikTok…

New Anime Season to Feature ‘Zoom Academia’

Studio Trigger has announced the series Zoom Academia for the summer anime season according to a press release. The series will focus on the wacky hijinks and romance in a…

Coronavirus Blamed for Cancellation of ‘Haruhi’ Season 3

TOKYO, Japan — Animation studio Satelight has announced that the third season of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya has been cancelled due to the coronavirus outbreak, according to a recent…

Legendary Hero Transported to Horrible Reality Full of Police Brutality and Incurable Disease

MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Legendary hero Edward Higurashi has found himself transported to another world, according to local media reports. This hellish new reality reportedly has high income inequality, police that…

Otaku Shocked to Find Student Council Boring

LARAMIE, WY — Local high school student and otaku Harper Brown has reportedly found membership on the high school student council to be boring, according to a recent TikTok video….

United Nations Security Council Condemns Kyon for Not Getting Haruhi to Stop COVID-19

NEW YORK, NY — The Security Council of the United Nations held a press conference for the global media today condemning the lack of action by Kyon in getting Haruhi…

99% of Eligible Bachelors in Small Town Members of Sohma Family

OKUTAMA, Japan — A recent study conducted by phone, email, and Tinder has found that 99% of eligible bachelors in the local dating scene are members of the Sohma family….