Blog Archives

Man Living Under Rock Surprised Second Season of ‘Kemono Friends’ is Bad

DUBUQUE, IA — After 7 episodes of Kemono Friends 2, local resident Jordan Sullemeyer expressed confusion and disappointment at the quality of the this season’s continuation of the cult classic 2017 anime….

NASA’s Opportunity Rover Added to ‘Fate/Grand Order’

Scientists at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory announced last week that they have lost all contact with the Mars rover Opportunity. Launched in 2003, the rover spent 15 years on the…

Keyakizaka46’s Hirate Yurina Throws Out Constitution, Declares Herself Center for Life

Declaring that she herself is the embodiment of the group and represents the will of all their fans, Hirate Yurina proclaimed herself the center of Japanese idol group Keyakizaka46 “for…

Kyary Pamyu Pamyu Gets Char-Broil Tattooed on Palm

Japanese pop superstar Kyary Pamyu Pamyu wanted to celebrate her new single “Oto no Kuni” by getting a tattoo on her hand, but ended up celebrating BBQ instead. The singer,…

Crunchyroll Anime Awards Adds Category “Best Anime Whose Inclusion Will Get You to Shut the Fuck Up”

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — The voting period for the third annual Crunchyroll Anime Awards ended recently, and as expected the choice of nominees drew criticism from various parts of the…

Neglected Nesoberi has Seen Unimaginable Things

TERRE HAUTE, IN — Sitting quietly on a shelf in the corner of the room, a large Love Live nesoberi has been silently observing the actions of Tyler Mansfield, 22,…

Crunchyroll Employee Quietly Deletes File Called “Crunchyroll Rewind” from Hard Drive

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Christine Leveret, a 27-year-old video production assistant working for Crunchyroll, has quietly dragged a file called “crunchyroll_rewind_v14.mp4” from her desktop into the recycling bin, a report…

Talking Giraffe Makes Final Selections for College Football Playoff

GRAPEVINE, TX — A mysterious talking giraffe has selected Alabama, Clemson, Notre Dame, and Oklahoma to participate in the College Football Playoff as it revealed the finalized rankings of the…

Could Announcement that ‘Neon Genesis Evangelion’ is Coming to Netflix be an Evangelion Reference?

Earlier this week, Netflix announced several new anime that will be added to their streaming library in 2019, including the 1996 seminal classic Neon Genesis Evangelion. Keen-eyed observers were quick to…

Local Man Learns Hiragana, Adds “Nihongo de ok” to Twitter Bio

ATHENS, GA — After declaring that he has mastered hiragana, Lance Williams, 19, has accordingly updated his twitter profile by appending “にほんごでOK”. In doing this Williams hopes to inform his…