Blog Archives

Gainax Makes Internet Poll to Determine Direction of New Project

TOKYO, Japan — Gainax has started an Internet poll for fans to vote on the themes and genre of its next anime project, to be released next year. “This is…

Fans Still in Line for Panel from Anime Expo 2013

LOS ANGELES, CA — A group of anime fans is still waiting in line for a panel from Anime Expo 2013 nearly a year later. Mark Anderson and his friends,…

Police Bust Underground Mushi Smuggling Operation

ALBUQUERQUE, NM — Police raided a once-abandoned warehouse and busted the largest mushi smuggling operation in the country, arresting nearly 100 alleged gang members and confiscating nearly $40 million of mushi…

Superpowers Banned In All American Sports; Japanese Athletes Affected

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a controversial decision, the Senate has approved a bill calling for the ban of all superpowers in sporting events. “The American people have been clamoring for…

Scientists Grow First Fully-Formed Test Tube Waifu

OSAKA — After years of failed experiments and frustration, Japanese scientists have developed the world’s first full-grown test tube waifu. “Yui,” the result of the years-long YN Project, is a…

Portal to Sengoku Period Opens During ‘Blood Moon’; Classical Heroes Offer Simple Message

KYOTO — Magical properties from the “blood moon” — the first lunar eclipse of 2014 — triggered a tear in reality and opened a temporary pathway to the Sengoku period….

Adult Fans Angered that Kids Are Flooding Toy Robot Fighting Arenas

TOKYO — Araki Takahiro is angry. Araki is one of the top fighters in the country in the sport known as “Gunpla Battle,” in which competitors build replica Gundam robots…

Dumbass Anime Fan Shits Pants After Attempting to Imitate JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure

MIAMI — An incredibly stupid adult anime fan unleashed a hot load of feces in his pants after realizing he could have killed himself while imitating a scene from the…

Scientists Discover Cause of Common Cold in Little Girls: Rain and Low Temperatures

ATLANTA — Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have made a breakthrough in research of the common cold in little girls: It is caused by being out…

REVOCS Fashion Show Ends in Disaster As Clothes Come to Life, Eat All Models, Audience

TOKYO — A fashion show sponsored by global conglomerate REVOCS ended in tragedy when the clothing on display came to life and ate all the models and the audience. Model…