Bernie Sanders Rally Disrupted by Waifu Lives Matter Activists

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SEATTLE, WA – Democratic presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders was interrupted during a rally yet again this morning when activist members of Waifu Lives Matter seized the stage. The activists took the stage demanding to be allowed to speak about their waifus. Rally organizers attempted to intervene, offering the activists a chance to discuss their waifus after Senator Sanders, but were unsuccessful in quieting the intruder.

Activist Christian Norris was eventually allowed to speak. After several minutes of shouting into the microphone about why Chitoge was superior to Onodera, he demanded a four-and-half-minute silence for the osananajimi NTR that has occurred over the last several years. After the crowd reacted with hostility, he declared that everyone in attendance was a baka gaijin and not a true otaku for watching the rally dubbed instead of subbed.

When Anime Maru spoke with Senator Sanders he admitted he was ”deeply disappointed,” saying that, “I was especially disappointed because I was going to discuss all my favorite waifus. No other candidate has better waifus than me.”

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“These protesters clearly have no idea what they are talking about,” said Makise Kurisu, speaker for the National Association for the Advancement of Romanized Waifus, “Bernie has one of the best harem of waifus of any Senator out there. He even led sit ins during the waifu rights movement of the 60s; these tsundere are more baka gaijin than he is.”

About the author

Sages speak of a man who will rise when the nation needs him most. Destined for greatness that man will herald a new age of enlightenment and reasoning for humanity. The tales told of this savior say he is already among us. They also say he has three fingers on one hand. Slapdash Scott is not this man, at least not yet. For now Slapdash Scott fills the empty hours of his life dreaming of the 72 waifus awaiting him in Valhalla.