Black Hole Ideal Place to Dispose of Seasonal Anime Garbage, Scientists Propose

With the excitement of mankind’s first glimpse of a black hole this week, several scientists from the Japanese space program JAXA have proposed that the super massive gravity well would be the perfect place to dispose of thousands of unsold and unwanted anime Blu-ray discs taking up space on Earth.

“For too long anime DVDs, and other media, have clogged our landfills, blanketed our oceans, and sat in our bargain bins,” stated JAXA engineer Nozomi Urikawa in a statement released by the space agency. “Only by harnessing the mighty power of a black hole will we finally be able to rid ourselves of the thousands of Hand Shakers, My Sister My Writer, and Chaos Dragon discs that sit useless and unwanted across the globe. Then, when each awful disc is consumed into the intergalactic abyss, humanity will finally be rid of these cursed objects once and for all.”

According to AP sources, the 90,000 or so unsold discs are planned to be loaded into a large, unmanned spacecraft, and then launched into space in a joint effort between between JAXA and NASA. It is unknown how long it would take the craft to reach its final destination, but many on the team were hopeful that the project would lead to a brighter tomorrow for the entire planet.

“It’s a small step for humanity as a whole,” said one American engineer on the scope of the effort. “But it makes me feel like someday soon, very soon even, we’ll be able to launch all of our problems into a black hole and that just feels great to say.”

Others have proposed including light novels as well in the dumping expedition into space. However, engineers have not yet been able to design a craft with enough cargo capacity to carry out the task.

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The Queen of the Monster Girls from a distant planet, Fluffy Harpy first came to Earth with the intention of conquering it. She is however quite lazy, and has since given up on that goal and now fills her days with anime, video games, and occasionally writing for this very site. Someday she will show you all. twitter: @fluffyharpy