Category Archives: News

Boeing Repurposes 737 Max for One Way Isekai Flights

Boeing’s 737 Max jetliner was cleared by the Federal Aviation Administration on Wednesday to resume passenger flights. The plane was grounded last year after two crashes and numerous technical issues…

Tucker Carlson Claims His Uncle Works at Nintendo, Switch 2 Exists

Fox not technically News presenter, Tucker Carlson, made new emerging claims on his program last night stating that his uncle “works at Nintendo” and that he has seen evidence of…

Australia Bans Import of Hentai, Finds Government Fucks Enough People Already

Prime Minister Scott Morrison demonstrates to parliament that Australians don’t need onaholes as they already get fucked over every single day. Australian customs has begun to reject pornographic hentai and…

Sony Announces PS5 Remastered for 2021

Sony revealed today plans for the next iteration of their PlayStation video game consoles. The new console will officially be known as the “PlayStation 5 Remastered” and is planned to…

TikToker Hospitalized After Ingesting Paimon Figure

LONG BEACH, CA – A man remains in critical medical condition after consuming a plastic figurine of the character Paimon from the popular game Genshin Impact. Paramedics responded to the…

Anime Fans Recreate Convention Experience by Waiting Hours in Voting Lines

As election day commences throughout the US, deprived anime fans, now having gone the majority of the year without being able to attend a proper convention, are finding ways to…

Otaku Hopes Other People Stuck in Time Loops Having More Exciting Time

LEWISTON, IA — Local anime fan Maria Horn, 20, has discovered that she has been in a time loop for the past several months. With how boring it is for…

Sony in Final Talks to Purchase KissAnime

Sony is reportedly close to finalizing a deal to acquire anime streaming service KissAnime. The streaming site closed its doors in August of this year, despite having a large active…

Trump Administration Contracts Umbrella Corporation to Develop COVID-19 Vaccine

President Trump revealed via a Twitter post earlier today that the Umbrella Corporation would be working to develop a vaccine for the coronavirus. The conglomerate has been a major player…

Otaku Watching ‘Higurashi’ Glad He Doesn’t Have Any Friends to Murder Him

GETTYSBURG, PA — Josh Kennedy, forever alone otaku, announced today on a Reddit thread that he was glad he would never be killed by his friends in a similar way…