Category Archives: News

‘Goblin Slayer’ to Feature More Shots of Birds in Order to Seem More “Artistic”, Less “Edgy”

Latest episode of Goblin Slayer confused, and amused, audiences with its closing scene — a near 2-minute close-up of a bird’s eye, followed by the credit roll. Though this sparked speculation about…

Studio Pierrot Refuses to Release New ‘Tokyo Ghoul: Re’ Blu-rays to “Filthy Anime-Onlys”

Controversy emerged today in Mitaka, Tokyo as Studio Pierrot has officially declared that Blu-ray discs for all future seasons of its once-popular anime Tokyo Ghoul: re will only be made…

PETA Initiates ‘Goblin Lives Matter’ Movement

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), an international animal rights group, recently launched its ‘Goblin Lives Matter’ campaign, an activist movement opposing the indiscriminate killing of goblins. The…

Grave Robbing Rates Skyrocket Following Popularity of ‘Zombieland Saga’

The Japanese local police have reported this week an alarming spike of recorded crimes against corpses over the last month and a half, which many are chalking up to the…

Local Man Learns Hiragana, Adds “Nihongo de ok” to Twitter Bio

ATHENS, GA — After declaring that he has mastered hiragana, Lance Williams, 19, has accordingly updated his twitter profile by appending “にほんごでOK”. In doing this Williams hopes to inform his…

Kurisu Makise Leads Initial Ballot Count in Minnesota Congressional Race

In a shocking upset, preliminary ballot counts from Minnesota’s hotly contested 1st congressional district show write-in candidate Kurisu Makise leading by a small margin. With incumbent Tim Walz (D) not…

Climate Scientists Form Idol Group in Desperate Effort to Save Environment

In a last-ditch attempt to bring attention to the threat of global warming and save the environment, a group of climate scientists have formed an idol group called TooHOT. Inspired…

So Close Yet So Far: Canada One Letter Off From Legalizing Weeb(s)

VANCOUVER, Canada – Thousands of despondent Canadian anime fans have taken to social media over the last weeks in protest of the Canadian government’s historic legalization of marijuana. Canada became…

Man with Anime Avatar on OkCupid Really Not Getting Anywhere

TULSA, OK — Despite checking the website multiple times a day for the past several months, local man Doug Farland states that he has not had any luck finding a…

Recently Fired Man Now Getting More Into Anime

Anime fan Elon Musk has recently started getting more into anime after being forced to step down from his job last month. This news surprised the world, who could not…