Category Archives: News

Man Downgrades Life Goal From Being “The Very Best” to “Relatively Competent”

HARRISBURG, PA – Local man Hans Johanson announced to anyone listening on Medium today that he had downgraded his life goal from being “the very best” down to a much…

‘Dragon Ball’ Creator Reveals Secrets Behind Weird Ear Thingies

Dragon Ball as a series is no stranger to fan speculation and rumors – from the existence of Super Saiyan 5, to who could beat Goku in a fight if…

Famed ‘One Piece’ Mangaka Has Become More Machine Than Man

Oda Eiichiro, the creator of the hit series One Piece, has always been an elusive individual. However, in a rare recent private interview, he revealed that the secret to his health is a result not of vampirism (as had been earlier suspected) but of a slow process of him replacing his skin and internal organs with cybernetic implants.

CERN Announces New Experiments to Determine How The Hell Stands Work

Due to a decline in public interest and government funding over the last five years, CERN has announced today they will be halting all currently active projects in order to…

Scientists Craft Perfect 5/10 Anime to Help Guide User Ratings

Most anime fans agree that the hardest part of watching anime is the rating process.  You get to the end of the series and you know it was mostly trash…

Black Hole Ideal Place to Dispose of Seasonal Anime Garbage, Scientists Propose

With the excitement of mankind’s first glimpse of a black hole this week, several scientists from the Japanese space program JAXA have proposed that the super massive gravity well would…

Registered Sex Offender Found to be Working as Maid

TOKYO, JAPAN — Prefectural police reported this week that they had arrested ex-JSDF member and registered sex offender Tsubame Kamoi after she had been masquerading as a maid for over…

Anime Maru’s Top 10 Visual Novels of All Time

Now that you can watch anime on Netflix with ease, anime as a medium has largely lost its inherent value as a low-key otaku content. That’s why we here at…

Authorities on Lookout for Suspect of Multiple Assaults on Japanese Roads

TOKYO, Japan – Japanese authorities state that they are currently on the lookout for an individual involved in a series of assaults on roadways in the Tokyo area. Area police…

New Japanese Era Name Revealed to be “Mecha War”

TOKYO, Japan – Japan revealed that the new era name to begin with their new emperor will be “メカ 戦争,” pronounced as “Mecha Sensō”, which means “mecha war”, in a…