CDC Recommends Wearing Anime Shirts to Socially Distance Others Away From You

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has released new guidelines this week now recommending wearing anime shirts in public to help keep others away. The advice compliments previous social distancing guidelines which recommends staying at least 6 feet apart from others in order to minimize the risk of spreading infection amid the COVID-19 pandemic.

The CDC stated that in several initial trials, wearing an anime shirt in public was shown to cause significantly reduced public interaction. Those who wore a shirt with an anime character printed on it claimed they noticed far fewer people approaching them than usual. Shirts with large graphics of underage characters in suggestive poses or attire were found to be the most effective. Shirts which featured only logos or less pronounced imagery had limited effect on distancing the wearer and were only recommended if nothing else was available.

“The idea is to create a feeling of immense awkwardness around the wearer,” stated CDC Director Robert Redfield. “To be effective, the shirt should cause others to worry about accidentally being associated with you should they stand too close for any period of time.”

“I’m just doing my part,” said one Atlanta man out shopping for groceries in a T-shirt featuring Kirino from Oreimo in a swimsuit. “I always knew there would be a day when this shirt would prove useful.”

While the CDC states that wearing an anime shirt can help adhere to social distancing guidelines, wearers should be cautious of not accidentally engaging in activities they might normally do at conventions, where such shirts are usually present, such as glomping. Wearers are also reminded to still wash shirts after every use to maintain at least an acceptable level of hygiene, even if not doing so might be more effective at repelling others.

Currently, anime shirts are still in short supply from high demand due to the pandemic. Health officials have recommended fashioning your own outfit out of whatever is available if no suitable shirts can be found.

“It can be an old Naruto headband from high school or even a Pickle Rick shirt,” said Redfield. “As long as it makes you less tolerable to be around in public then it is doing its job of keeping everyone safer.”

About the author

Sustaining on instant noodles and a wavering DSL connection, it is uncertain how Vestro has continued to survive let alone still form a cognitive thought. Regardless, he still manages to come out of his soba induced coma now and then. He can be found spending his time pretending to understand Japanese media as well as picking up the remaining shards of his broken dreams.