Comey Hearing Yields No New Anime Memes


Former FBI director James Comey testified today in front of a Senate committee on his conversations with President Donald Trump. The hearing covered many topics including alleged Russian interference with the 2016 Presidential Election. However, a lack of new anime memes overshadows any new revelations about the United States Government.

Throughout the hearing, Comey refused to comment on Trump’s initiative of “Making Anime Real”, instead talking about boring political shit no one cares about. Observers noted that over the past several months the entire administration has been a deep well of dank memes. Now cut off from Trump’s mean meme machine, Comey seems to lack the expertise to churn out a decent anime meme himself.

“This is boring, when’s Marvel?” Seems to be the common consensus among politically active millennials watching on, WatchAnimeDotCom, and Fakku in preparation for a new wave of anime-related political memes. However viewer quickly became disinterested once they realized they were actually listening to a Congressional hearing, not the inflated media circus they had grown accustomed to.

Comey calmly took questions, and described the incidents leading up to his dismissal as the director of the FBI. He described President Trump asking him to “back off” haranguing A-1 Pictures for another season of Eromanga Sensei and showing him episodes of One Piece to explain the concept of “nakama”.

“No one was accused of fapping to anime pictures, Japan isn’t even mentioned at all,” Jacob Abbott tweeted live during the hearing. Abbott makes his living primarily from photoshopping waifus wearing “Make America Great Again” hats. The severe lack of anime memes has put his Patreon in jeopardy. If there isn’t a new Comey related anime meme soon, Abbott may actually get a real job.

At press time, we reached out to Washington insider Kurt Eichenwald to get his take of the lack of vapid anime memes, to which he enigmatically replied, “watch this.”

About the author

Talking about himself in the third person has never be Morlock's strengths, however it would seem that duty calls for a change in POV. Hobbies include: self loathing, mindlessly consuming japanese media like the weeaboo that he is, and complaining. Mad Bull 34 is still the greatest anime Morlock has seen. For some reason he has a Twitter: @TheMorlock