Convention Organizers Hope Pandemic Will Encourage Future Attendees to Take a Fucking Shower

It has been a difficult time for conventions, with many events having been postponed throughout 2020 and even into 2021 as the recent emergence of the Delta variant continues to make clear the challenges of safely running public events during a global health crisis. Despite setbacks, some organizers see a bright spot from dealing with the pandemic as it has provided an opportunity to draw more focus on the importance of personal hygiene.

“We have tried various methods in the past to encourage visitors to take showers while attending the convention,” Anime Central’s Event Coordinator, Patrick Hodges, told Anime Maru.

“We added specific mentions in the program guide and posted signs to remind attendees to wash themselves daily. Despite that, there would always be a repugnant odor that would waft through the exhibit hall on opening day. With greater attention now being brought to public health, we are really hoping to turn things around.”

Many conventions have begun considering additional efforts such as verifying with attendees that they have had at least one shower within 24 hours before arriving or even denying entry to those who clearly haven’t heard of deodorant before. Health measures adopted during the coronavirus pandemic, such as wearing a mask and social distancing, could also prove useful in reducing the effects of pungent individuals.

“Next year it will be made more clear than ever that people should at least make the minimal amount of effort to not smell absolutely awful,” said Spencer Lehman, Promotional Manager for Anime Boston.

“I know that the bar for expectations is already pretty low, considering the kind of crowd we’re dealing with here, but I think taking a damn shower at least once during convention weekend isn’t too much to ask.”

Even with efforts to address the issue, some organizers are still concerned over the increasing trend of younger people turning to online influencers for advice on health and hygiene over medical professionals. Popular Spotify podcast host Joe Rogan was recently quoted saying that he believes most people “don’t need to take a shower every day”, claiming that frequent showers ruin his preferred musky smell of weed and incompetence.

“All it takes is one stinky bastard to ruin it for everyone else,” Lehman added. “At the end of the day, unless every person takes proper hygiene seriously we are looking at body odor being a real issue at conventions for years to come.”

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Sustaining on instant noodles and a wavering DSL connection, it is uncertain how Vestro has continued to survive let alone still form a cognitive thought. Regardless, he still manages to come out of his soba induced coma now and then. He can be found spending his time pretending to understand Japanese media as well as picking up the remaining shards of his broken dreams.