Crunchyroll No Longer Crunchy


Crunchyroll, an official legal streaming site named after the crunchy roll sushi, was announced to no longer be crunchy.

CEO Kun Gao issued a press release, stating that the name change was partially an effort to “reduce the amount of caloric waste” gone into making the roll crunchy and instead “promote healthy raw seafood for productive anime watching lifestyles.” He added that this was also part of a larger brand name initiative to adapt the more sleek and refined look of modern technology.

“Our name and logo were always a bit misleading to begin with,” Gao stated in an exclusive interview with Anime Maru. “Our graphic designer rejected the crunchy toppings and shrimp tempura and we ended up with a bald roll.”

When asked about potential effects on fan usage of the site, Gao expressed optimism that premium memberships would likely increase. In forsaking 63.6% of its original name, newly coined Roll is likely to appeal to millennials who prefer minimalist and modern design.

“The ambiguity of ‘Roll’ leaves an air of mystery—an itch that can’t be solved until you buy a premium membership,” one reformed illegal anime streamer stated.

The change in name was largely greeted by positive reception. Activists praised its step in being more inclusive, indicating that #rolllivesmatter, whether it referred to a California roll or a bona fide Sukiyabashi Jiro roll.

Gao also pointed out that the new name would resolve an enormous discrepancy that had been plaguing the company for years. While the first “c” in Crunchyroll was capitalized in its Twitter handle and on its site, the same “c” is lowercase in the logo, he explained. Anime Maru’s professional graphic and brand designers offered their sincere condolences.

“Without ‘crunchy’, we had a blank slate to start over with,” Gao said. “Nothing could be better.”

About the author

Part time hibernator and professional computer starer. She likes the three minutes you have to wait after you pour water in a ramen cup and hates cute anime mascot creatures. Twitter: @Dango_Ramen