Elon Musk Buys Studio Trigger, Vows for “Mecha on the Moon” by 2020

Celebration on Mars today as Elon Musk has finally revealed his latest entrepreneurial endeavor.  Many were shocked that the so called ‘weabillionaire’ would go beyond anything more than just shitposting about anime on Twitter. Others laughed at the notion, dismissing the statement as a joke, until an unscheduled press release was revealed a few days later.

Thousands of reporters flocked to the scene of Musk’s announcement, encouraged by the easy viewership that simply mentioning Musk’s name would bring. After a short introduction and a few tasteful digs at casual gamers, Musk announced that negotiations had concluded on a $71 million acquisition of anime studio Trigger.

Trigger is best known for its shows with space themes such as Space Patrol Luluco. The studio has had a long history of going to space for absolutely no reason at all, managing to receive vast amounts of potentially unjustifiable attention no matter what, and diverging off into tangents without seeing anything off to a proper conclusion — all highly sought-after qualities for Musk

Trigger studio president Masahiko Otsuka was ecstatic about the deal, later stating that he simply couldn’t turn down enough money to never have to work with A-1 Pictures again.

Following the announcement, the tech entrepreneur continued his speech by revealing hundreds of schematics for what was “definitely not a mecha army”. Several of the plans had clearly been commissioned by a variety of Tesla engineers and anime fan artists. Others appeared to be Musk’s own work, including several decades-old crayon drawings based on a variety of mecha designs from shows such as Gurren Lagann and Diebuster.

Musk claimed that several prototypes were already planned to start entering testing phases within the upcoming months. Luckily for the astronauts’ dignity, none of the designs seemed to be derived from Darling in the FranXX.

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Starprophet is a few hundred meerkats in the shape of a man, held together by rage and one very charismatic squirrel